Then, he got really sick, and despite being to countless doctors and doing what seems like hundreds of tests, he never found a cause or a solution, and he missed about two months of work from it, all told. He had just been sitting around at home mostly, and I've been there as much as I can be.
A week ago today, he found out his kid sister has cancer (she's only 12), as well. The news was devastating to him, because he is super close to her, and he collapsed on my shoulder in wracking sobs because of it. He doesn't open up much, so it was big that he came to me for this.
Since that time, he has basically disappeared. I went with him to the hospital that night (I am close with his family, as well, and it meant a LOT to everyone that I was there), and the next day, he told me to leave him alone for Thanksgiving because he wanted to spare me the pain. I just wanted to be there for him, but he told me no, and I respected his wishes.
Since then, I haven't heard from him, at all.
I sense that he needs space, so I gave it to him for a few days (we're used to talking to each other every single day on the phone, so that was a lot), texting him only a "<3." On Sunday, I called him, and he ignored me, and I told him I supported him but to let me know if he is OK. He responded, after some prodding, "I'm OK, I just need some space." I answered that I understood (because I truly do!) and that I would be here when he is ready, and that I'm not going anywhere.
Since then, I have been focusing on me--hanging out with friends, working, whatever I have to do to keep my mind off everything. I haven't tried to contact him AT ALL since Sunday.
My question is, what are my boundaries? Can I send his sister a card, knowing how much it would mean to her? Should I send the occasional text letting him know that I'm here but not asking for anything back? I know he has nothing to give to me right now, and I understand that, but what can I do to help, besides leaving him alone? Or is leaving him alone truly the best thing? How long should I wait?