If you've considered breaking up, is it already over?

Just trying to get opinions here.

If you're in a long-term relationship and you've seriously considered breaking up, does that mean the relationship is already beyond repair?

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. And he's a wonderful guy, he treats me right and we've always gotten along so well. He's my best friend, we have great chemistry together.

But lately I've been feeling like we don't have that spark anymore - he has some habits that I'm not okay with and that's usually the cause of our rare arguments - but I don't feel that giving him an ultimatum and trying to change him would be fair.

I love him very much, but I've wondered if I need to just be on my own for a while. Sometimes I feel like I've gotten too dependent on him and it causes a lot of strain on our relationship.

But I don't think he's the type to agree to a "break", so I don't know if it would be better to just break up and hope that someday we could be friends again (we were friends for 2 years before we got together),

or if I should try to work out these problems with him, he's very important to me and I don't want to lose him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • No, just because you've considered breaking up does not mean the relationship is beyond repair. It DOES mean it is time to face the problems in your relationship.

    "he's very important to me and I don't want to lose him"... if this is how you truly feel, you should try to work out your problems with him. You should go see a professional relationship therapist both individually and as a couple for the best results.

    Now, let me ask you a question.

    If you don't try to work things out with him and just break up... how would you feel, finding out later that you could've worked your problems out, and spent the rest of your life with him in a happy and healthy relationship?


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I think you should seriously think about whether you were too young for a committed relationship. Maybe you're just curious about the rest of the world.

    There's a big world out there and it's accessible, more than it ever was in the past. Most people are delaying marriage as a result.

    Don't feel bad about yourself!


What Girls Said 1

  • It depends.

    I think most can be salvaged.

    However, you mentioned that your boyfriend has habits that you don't agree with.

    Habits are apart of us. Sure, they're breakable, but very difficult to do.

    I'm not quite sure what habit it is. But especially if you fight over them, you guys have different viewpoints. And if that's a dealbreaker for you, then it probably is time ot break up.


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