Is this considered cheating even though it's not the same?

I've been with my boyfriend since January 11. Well, we just recently went through a miscarriage and ever since then I just feel so separated from him. The sex doesn't feel intamite, it just feels cold and rushed. When he says he loves me I hesitate when saying it back and never say it first. Well I recently met another guy and slept with him. In my heart I don't feel like its cheating cause it doesn't feel like we are together anymore? But I still feel guilty... What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • sorry to disappoint you but it's called "100% cheating " . normally people call things less that what you did cheating too. but I think I should explain something. when you cheat it doesn't matter if you have feelings to your boyfriend or husband or etc, what important is, is that you're in a relationship and your boyfriend considers you as his girlfriend and has feelings for you. cheating is an act not just against your partner but against his/her trusting in you and against the rules of a partnership. don't forget that there's always enough excuses for every cheating that happens but none of them are good enough to be a reason to hurt someone who's been close to you.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 4

  • You call him your boyfriend don't you?

    You don't feel guilty. Your telling yourself you feel guilty. If you felt guilty you wouldn't have to ask this question.

    The fact that you don't feel guilty means you should dump him.

    Do him a. Favor though and don't confess. It'll only hurt him more. Just end it.

    How do you not feel like you were together anymore? Did you ever break up? Obviously not.

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  • And survey says...CHEATING!

    Have the courage to break up with your boyfriend officially before doing something like that.

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  • That's cheating alright ... I hate cheaters.

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    • I hate douchbags, so I guess we are equal.

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    • ooh, that's scary.

    • Well I only answered your question properly and truly ... you cheated on your boyfriend with the other guy. Maybe you felt as if you weren't with him any more, because you felt it in your heart - what ever that means. But your boyfriend still thought you were part of his life. This is utterly deceitful.

      Hope he finds out.

  • You cheated. Unless you officially break up, screwing around with someone else is cheating. You want to make this right? Break up with your actual boyfriend. If this other guy is good for you, go with him instead, but don't stay with one and fuck the other. You're cheating. Don't make excuses. You just are.

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    • I know.. You're right..l

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    • I just wanna make the least painful for him..

    • impossible.

What Girls Said 4

  • I have read some of your comments below. By the sounds of it you have not fully grieved your loss of your miscarriage, and neither did your boyfriend. As you know you did cheat on him. I am not sure that there is any "nice or easy" way to tell him, that's a couple blows. I wonder if perhaps getting some resolution for you both would be good, even if you go to a counsellor. You are going to have to tell him, I am sorry you guys have had to go through this, and I hope the best for you both.

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  • That's definitely cheating. In what world is sleeping with another guy that's not your boyfriend not cheating?

    I think you should break up with your boyfriend. If you guys have drifted apart then that's fine, but it's best to call it off sooner rather than later.

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  • You definitely cheated. If you don't think so, then just tell your boyfriend. He shouldn't think it's cheating. If he does, explain it to him like you just did, and see if he's so understanding.

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    • I know its wrong. I feel guilty. Cause I do love him. I wanted advice on what to say and how to say it...

    • You "love" him ... BS ...

  • If you have a boyfriend and you slept with someone else...it's cheating. It sounds like you're more or less done with him. Why not break up with him and let him have a chance to be with someone who wants to be with him.

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    • I've tried talking to him about it. And he gets really emotional about trying to make up for losing the baby and how he's trying his hardest. And I feel so bad and tell myself I'll tell him later. I still love him. With all my heart. And the last thing I want to do is hurt him... I want to make it work, but I look at him and our relationship and all I can see and think if is our baby...

    • I've had miscarriages...and it's painful...but it shouldn't effect how you feel about him unless he was directly responsible. I wouldn't tell him you cheated because that would only cause more pain. You might want to consider counseling to get past your pain from dealing with the mc. Take care!

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