Best way to break up with a girl because of her past?

I'm dating this girl who told me she was a soolutt but now wants to date normal...went into too much explicit detail about her sexual talents...sucks cause she's cool... how to break it off?

Updates:
Let me point out that I treat her very well and have respected her throughout our relationship. We have sex but not as much as I'd like and kinda makes me wonder if it is because I treat her like a lady, and am good to her. This is simply not the type of woman I want a relationship with.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • "soolutt"? (is that slut?)

    Say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, but your sexual history makes me uncomfortable. And, I think you should be with somebody who accepts all of you, your past, your flaws (that might be a strong word), your everything. And, I know I can't be that for you, so I hope you can be happy." (this isn't anything toward you, it's perfectly okay to be bothered by it, but it's all true, she shouldn't be with somebody who is made uncomfortable by that, she deserves more than that, and frankly, so do you. And, I think it's important to wish her well. Because, she might have done something you don't approve of, but she deserves to be happy all the same. And, I think she'll understand, also.

    Though, out of curiosity, is that she might not be clean, the amount of partners, what she's done, what makes you uncomfortable about it (don't mean this out of offense, I'm just a nosy little bugger)?

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    • Thinking back on it, you should probably replace "your past, your flaws, your everything (God, that was bad)", with "accepts who you used to be, and who you are now", or something along those lines. Don't say flaws, flaws was a very bad choice of words (will probably make her defensive, and maybe cry).

    • She cheated on her ex husband..." just one though"...lol. One guy wouldn't fuck her...just liked her bj skills, she'd feel bad after yet visited him weekly...some of her numerous fuck buddies are shallow pieces of shit I know very well...I don't trust her and feel like a test dummy to see if she's ready to settle down. To top it off we don't have as much sex as I'd like, which makes me feel like a good man doesn't turn her on.

    • Ah, yeah, well, I mean that can make anybody uncomfortable. Especially the cheating on their partner thing, it would personally make me unable to trust them (especially if she's able to be in contact with any of her fuck buddies). And, trust is such an important part of a relationship. And, it is possible. But, anyway, I hope it goes well. And, by the way, thank you for BA. ^.^

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What Girls Said 11

  • Why should her sexual history bother you? Personally I think she would be better off without you. And hopefully the next guy would understand how to cherish her. I think you should go get std tests with her and see the result together so you can be reassured. Then try giving her a chance. However if you are already judging her she is better off with someone else. Just said you just want to be friends and stop talking to her. Easy. Simple. Straight to the point.

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    • lol

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    • This should be the best answer.

    • I think its completely inaccurate, she is the one missing out. I am a very fit well payed man. Cherishing her gets you blue balls, treating her like a slut gets you deep throated. Not the kind I go for, by past I mean 6 months ago, not 10 years ago.

  • Hmmm it's funny how it's about 'her'' pass and the men involved here aren't being slammed? They're off the hook? Why? It takes TWO and if you can't love and accept her in spite of that she made mistakes, maybe even was mislead or used, then you aren't the right person for her. Let someone step in that will love her enough to accept her and not judge her.

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    • Hope she does, but can't find another me.

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    • We only had sex three times last month...have been together for six, waited 3, and totally 7 times in six months! I keep thinking about one story she told me about a mutual friend who she blew because she felt bad for getting him hard after making out with him... if I'm so good to her she sure doesn't feel making me suffer.

    • Well it's obvious that on the surface, you are seeing this one problem but it is another. Her sexual past somehow makes you hurt or feel like less of a man, or whatever, so it's disturbs you. That means you care for her. If you didn't none of this would be bugging you.

  • I don't want to seem like I'm attacking you but you seem a little selfish. She opened up to you about her past, then you have sex with her but because she doesn't have sex as much as YOU want, you want to break up with her even though you say you're uncomfortable with her past.

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    • Thanks for your comment but ,Yeah, if she is so proud of her skills, she should be using them on the guy taking care of her.

  • Ok I think its wrong to judge someone of there past, I mean if you have already committed to her and you have already had sex with her then your telling her in a way, that you "accept" her the way she is flaws and all. That's what love is. I feel that it was wrong for you to pursue her if you knew deep down you would never accept her. I am sure you have flaws to. However, if you can't love her for who she is you need to let her go so she can find someone who really loves her. And you need to learn what your looking for and don't settle if you can't handle it.

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    • Couldn't agree more, but I liked her and wanted to have sex with her so I did, the past slowly ate at me, didn't know it would. I do not trust her in a committed relationship. I tried to accept it , when we did start having sex, was great but not as often as would like, made me wonder, considering her past, somethings not adding up.

    • She changed her ways she made the mistake of putting out too much, she has cut back to protect herself and she must really care about you and doesn't want to screw it up. I think you should have found out ab her past and decided whether or not you could accept it, you obviously didn't accept it and pursued her for sex because she now seemed "easy" in your eyes. Now your fun is done and you want out. That's why people should wait till their married.

    • Disagree, she found a man who genuinely cared for her and has the ability to support her. I wanted it to work. I don't see why she wouldn't want to make me happy, the wait for sex thing till marriage is unrealistic at our age.

  • Just tell her it's not working. Done. Her past does not matter as it's who she is today that is the only thing that matters but since you are the type of person who thinks he is perfect and has never done anything that might be considered questionable than she deserves someone better. Just dump her and let her be.

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  • You should just tell her that her background makes you uncomfortable. It says a lot about her that she was willing to open up and trust you with that information. She seems like she's trying to change. The reason you two aren't having as much sex is probably because you treat her so nicely, but not in the way you're thinking. If all the guys she was having sex with A LOT treated her like shit and used her, in her head the key to being treated like a lady is to have less sex. If she wouldn't have told you about her past, you would've just seen the lack of sex as her being shy/inexperienced/innocent or something along those lines.

    Just tell her so you both can find someone else. By a mans standard, most females are sluts these days, she'll find someone who's willing to see her for who she is currently and that's nothing to be ashamed of. And you'll find someone closer to what you seek too :-)

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  • Just say this to her:

    " You know I care about you, I respect you and you are someone I want always in my life ( say that if you do want her as a friend as least), but as a friend. Please forgive me by saying this, but I have to be honest with you and you deserve someone who doesn't mind your sexual history. It does bother me, and I wanna be honest with you now rather than later or you realizing this in another way. I do think you are a good person, and I do like having you in my life. But I just wanna be friends. But I also do respect if you need time or space away from me. I wanna stay friends but if you don't stay friends cause me closing the chapter of a relationship then I understand, but I am always here for you as a friend to talk to and open up to, trust me anything you have opened up to me about I will never tell a soul, and I appreciate that I was one of the persons you have opened up about it to."

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  • Just say you're not interested and end of story

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  • sucks! She deserves someone better who would not judge her by her past. I say go ahead and tell her the truth .Just tell her you want to break up.That'll be good for her and for you too.

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    • I'm the best she has ever had, she is not the best I've ever had, and she is better off having not said those things to me, if I was getting it when I want may be different...

    • How are you the best if you are calling her names, using her and putting her down? I think you're insecure and intimidated that she's had other men so you have to see yourself as better by putting her down and the other guys. This comes off as insecure, but it gets better as you get older.

    • Well she doesn't know I'm on here and have never called her names. Agreed,some insecurity because have been burnt before, would say its more a trust issue, I feel used, like I'm a guiney pig to see if a genuine good guy is what she wants. I've got my shit together, do too many kind things for her to list, shehas only given me blue balls.

  • Just tell her that you don't think its working out. I'm sure she'll survive.

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  • I understand. I don't want to date a man whore either..

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What Guys Said 5

  • Dude ? OK do what you got to do I guess. I should probably thank you for the man that will come along after you and wish him a long and happy future with your soon to be ex.

    I am going to remember this post and be looking for future posts of yours asking "why won't she take me back?" and while you sit their crying . I would say something like this. "You done fukd up!"

    Do you know how much courage it took that girl to open up to you? She want's to clear the wreckage to be truthful to you and sounds like date normal. You could have a huge role in her new outlook on a real relationship. By you breaking up with her would be like having a caterpillar breaking out of her cocoon flapping her wings as a fresh new butterfly and you squishing her !

    What gives you the right to judge anybody's past before you even had a chance to know them?

    Someday you are going to have a past that will haunt you and apparently sooner than you think!

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  • So she's good and the sack, is cool, and wants to be committed to you. And you want to break up with that

    Well I gotta say that's very dumb

    But if your going to, just be honest about it. You don't need a way t break up with someone you just need to do it. Just tell her you don't feel there same way about her and you don't want to pursue a relationship

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  • Just tell her the truth that her past bothers you too much. I can understand that it is possibly upsetting to have a partner who relishes in their liberated days and that you may just not work that way.

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  • You don't because you shouldn't care about her past. But if you're going to be shallow, dump her quickly so she can move on to a man who doesn't care about stuff that happened in the past.

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  • You don't. You enjoy the ride :)

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