Ladies, what do you think I should do?

I really want to move in with my girlfriend but we both cannot afford it. I work a temp job for a bank and make 11.50 and hour plus another retail job at 10.44 an hour. She works as a camp counselor year round and makes 9.50 an hour. We cannot afford to live together working full time. We always talk about moving in together, getting married and starting a family. I want to start towards this. Now I am planning on become a stock trader and am very serious with my current employer about this, I want to be able to afford to move in with her. Now she hates the job she is in and always has to pick up her bosses slack, Her mom and I have talked about her getting a new job as a bank teller which pays starting around 13 an hour and upward potential from there on. I don't know how to bring this up to my girlfriend without making her upset or mad. She wants to move somewhere with me and us both progressing in our jobs will ensure that. I don't know what to say to her. My point with her is that for us to achieve what we want, we have to work for it. Please, ladies, what would you think or want to hear for your man if this was your situation? I just want us to achieve what we want and I'm at a loss on what to do.
She doesn't care about how much it costs and looking around and researching the costs, we absolutely could not afford it at all. I understand what she wants and I want it too. I want to live with her and be with her and start our lives together. She won't listen when I suggest ways for us to work towards this goal. It seems to be all on me and I don't know how to deal with it. She doesn't seem to want to get a better paying job or work towards this. She just expects us to live together. Thoughts?
Did some more research and if I can make three dollars an hour more and she gets this job I keep telling her to get, then we can definitely do this. I just don't know how to get her to go after this job or even motivated to want to do better.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You should really tell her that if you really wanna work this out. You are gonna be really honest about what you want and all that. You could even say that she doesn't worth the hours she waste on the job she has and hates to do and she deserves a better job for a netter pay such as a bank teller. Tell her made.up scenarios for you two about her becoming a bank seller. Mention the schedules and how much higher the pay can be. Say that if she ever got a job like that you guys would easily move in together both having a good job and not actually hating what you do. This way you could say that you guys should have a more improved, deeper relationship than ever before. You'll get to deal with each others' flaws daily and at the end of the day appreciate those flaws.

    Making sound tempting - not to fool her and to give her a dreamy speech for.what she wants to hear but show her that you really want this to happen!


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What Girls Said 2

  • She is just under a lot of stress. I'm sure you are very determined to reach this goal as you are juggling many jobs to try to save enough. Make sure she's at the comfortable pace as she is probably nervous about the whole moving in together thing. I myself am young but me and my boyfriend want to eventually move in together as well but we do have awhile haha

  • How old are both of you? I'm guessing around 19/20? Way too young to be contemplating moving in together :( Trust me, it all sounds lovely but when you can't afford to pay the bills and are constantly arguing over not being able to afford to go out and have fun, or have the first baby screaming in your ears, the reality will hit hard. Sit down together and work out a realistic budget for an apartment, utilities, car, car insurance, apartment insurance, gasoline, food and look at how many hours both of you will need to work to cover those basics - the chances are that you will be working full time and barely be able to cover them. Do you want that for the rest of your lives?

    You should both be concentrating on getting good jobs or going to college. I suggest that you sit her down and you both talk about what you want FIVE YEARS from now. Although it may seem hard, you need to set down your plans and work towards them methodically.


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