Why is "break up" always the answer?

On here, at least, it seems like whenever anyone posts anything about having a conflict with their significant other the answers saying to break up outnumber the answers providing actual advice.

I'm just curious why that is.

Why does everyone seem to jump right to ending the relationship no matter what the issue - no matter how small - is?

Any thoughts?

I was more so directing my question toward answers for questions on here that don't involve the actual question "should we break up?" or ones that aren't in the break up category.

Questions like, "My SO and I had a fight" or I don't know how to tell so and so this." Those sort of questions.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It is because people are too lazy to try and work things out and be honest with their partners. Seriously if you fall in love with someone the spark will eventually fade, you guys will get into arguments and tick eachother off. Things won't always be the perfect fairy tale they expect it to be. So they give up the best thing that could have ever walked into their life because well they truly don't love them and they truly don't care enough to try and work things out.

    Ok now I get when both parties in a relationship are both trying to work things out the best they can and they just aren't getting anywhere to the point where they're unhappy and can't ignore it, then yes they should break up. Like another answerer here said if you're not married and have no kids then it's not worth the hassle.

    However if one party in the relationship is having an issue with the other party. If they truly loved and cared about the other person they'd be honest and openly talk to them about it. If the other party listened and tried to work on it then he cares and he tries. Things won't always work out but they'd work out better if people actually communicated to their partner.

    So I guess my final answer is because people just don't care and don't want to put enough effort into a relationship. Or maybe the meaning of how to maintain a true relationship has been lost. Maybe it's to help someone escape an abusive relationship or to just get away from someone who doesn't care about them. Anything are valid reasons but it just seems like people don't really try anymore.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • A lot of people are trying desperately to save flawed relationships when they'd be better off leaving.

    Also, most of the relationships people have on here only seem serious because the person is INSIDE.

    You get married and have kids, and someone is like 'I've been dating some guy for 6 months' and you're like ... uh ... that's not really that serious. You could be with someone new and happy in a month, or drag this on for another couple years before giving up.

  • AMEN.

    A hell worse than racism is being hated by the ones you love. All my life I have been fighting for my right to be liked by the ones I love. There are few girls out there whose great memories keep haunting me, missing them. Earning love with my cases has rules. Can't use money, friends as allies, crime of any kind, lies or manipulations, can't rain hell of anykind on competiton, can't use force or anything that in anyway crossis any lines of extreme human ethics or morality. So what can I do? Self development and hope that they would one day realize how their small acts of kindness can bring so much happyness.

    A better tomorrow has nothing to do with single Alfa-males/hot chicks giving sex to everyone, it is nothing to do with rich people giving away their money, it is nothing to do with leaders giving away their authority. It is all about everyone treating everyone with general respect and humanity. A better world is build by those who dare to accept the chalange and not look the easy way out, like quitting at the first sign of trouble.

  • agreed. people will always say break up first. But, in the end I have found, they are always right :-/. For the most part, if problems are big enough to look for help on this site, if you aren't married with kdis, its not worth the hassle as you will eventually break up anyways.

  • It's the easiest way out. People don't realize that people can change so it seems like the best outcome when people are at their lowest. It definitely isn't. Forgive people. People even break up over the smallest things. In those relationships, breaking up was destined to be. Only the true strong people that are passionate about either their boyfriend or their girlfriend will prove to prevail over all of the forks on the road that are trying to make their relationships worse.

  • Because telling them to break up is actual advice and most of the people asking questions here are in a situation where the relationship is beyond repair and where pursuing to fix the situation is far more stress than it is worth.

    The people asking questions:

    Have already tried a number of solutions.

    Have been cheated on(numerous times also).

    Are with someone who clearly does not care about them at all.

    Are trying to be with someone who has something in their list of dealbreakers(religious preference, etc).

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What Girls Said 8

  • Because sometimes, believe it or not, that IS the answer. Some people are trying desperately to hold onto something that is not healthy. If all you do in a relationship is argue, it's probably time to reevaluate the pros and cons. The point of weighing pros and cons is to actually listen after the cons outweigh the pros, not make excuses why there is nothing good about the relationship besides the fact that "I like/love him/her." Sometimes that isn't a sufficient reason to stay in a relationship.. It's not what people want to hear, but if they don't want cold hard advice, they probably shouldn't be asking anyone then.

    I hate when people ask questions only to argue with anyone who is giving advice they don't really want to listen to.

    For example: "My girlfriend never texts me back, is always hanging out with random guys, and I caught her in bed with some guy but she swore it was her friend and they weren't doing anything wrong although they were naked.. What should I believe?"

    Then when you mention that maybe she is cheating on him and the fact that she won't even admit to it and apologize means she will probably do it again so he should break it off, he gets defensive saying I'm jumping to conclusions, and how stupid I am for assuming such a thing, and how I'll end up alone if I just dump people for "nothing" all my life.. Then blocks me.

    Of course I went a bit extreme on that example, but I have seen some like that lol

  • Its probably because if someone has gotten to the point they need to come on here to ask for advice, it means they don't feel they can talk to their current partner about it, therefore communication in that relationship must be poor. It is likely also they have tried talking to their partner to no avail. I truly believe if both sides do not listen openly to the other then a relationship will not work.

    It may also be that a lot of people on here have seen relationships and have been in relationships that have failed and from that experience can advise those on matters that are large and small. Sometimes things that seem very small (as you say) are signs of bad behaviour by a partner later on. I know for instance, my last relationship in the beginning he told me he liked all the films I liked. 2 months in he said that he didn't like any of the films I liked and that he lied on our first date. Yes a very small matter, but it turned out it was a massive sign of his ability to lie and be secretive. In the end I found he had been lying about a lot of things including seeing other girls.

    So maybe people jump to the break up answer straight away to help those that are feeling unhappy in their current relationship go find someone that can make them happy, before they wake up and realize how much time they have wasted in a relationship that had clear negative signs in the beginning that they just couldn't see.

    I'm not 100% sure though, just some suggestions. :)

  • When I tell someone that they should break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend, it's often because I've noticed that their boyfriend/girlfriend holds abusive traits. I legitimately fear for some of the QAs on here. Abusive relationships can be really dangerous, and whenever I notice someone is going through the early signs of being in an abusive relationship, the first thing that pops into my mind is "break up and run far away".

    For normal conflicts, I often advise them to at least talk to their boyfriend/girlfriend first. Depending on how severe and how far into the conflict they are (for example if they've been fighting for months with no signs of ever making up) yes, I probably will tell them that they should go their separate ways.

    The thing is, when people get so desperate to repair their relationship that they actually turn to the internet, to a bunch of strangers, I think it says a lot about their situation. Sure, some people on here seem to make a fuss out of the smallest things. But a lot of the time, the serious relationship questions on here seem to be about relationships that are in too deep of a conflict. Breaking up seems to be the healthiest option most of the time.

    Like, people come on here and complain about so much bad stuff that has happened between them and their boyfriend/girlfriend only a week or a month into the relationship. It's a red flag to me. Sure, not all relationships start off perfect, but neither should they start off like hell. It's just not healthy.

    So when I tell someone to break up with their significant other, it's because I simply think it's for the best.

  • Because most of the relationships on this site are unhealthy and even dangerous. Men and women trying to make relationships work with parters who constantly cheat, partners who completely ignore their needs, partners who are emotinally/mentally abusive. Why should they stay in these relationships?

    Health is more important than trying to force a dead relathionship work.

  • People should break up if their relationships are abusive (physically, emotionally, and sexually), if they do not have emotional or sexual chemistry with their significant other (may lead to cheating or just plain unhappiness), if they're being cheated on or lied to, or if their partners are total deadbeats.

    Those are usually the reasons people ask "should I break up if" to.

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