How do you decide enough is enough?

When you are in love with someone, but they keep hurting you over and over, what is the breaking point? When do you just say enough is enough?

I just had to do this, and am having a tough go of it but I know it will get easier as time passes. But I wanted to hear "breaking point" stories from other people

Thanks!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wish I can say that I had my breaking point sooner, but It took me taking him back around four times,before I realized that It just wouldn't work anymore. He was my first boyfriend and the first guy that I had many first with. After our first break up things just wernt the same anymore, and he had picked up this habit of leaving for a few months when things would get rough, then comeback as if everything was ok.

    I kept giving him chances because I did love him, and he would put on a good performance as if he was really sorry. The first two - three weeks between us are amazing and we spend so much time together. Things don't get rocky until after being intimate with him. He would get really controlling and find little tiny things to argue with me about. He'd watch my Facebook to see who I was talking too, and would get seriously angry if anyone(guys/girls) would talk to me. At first I use to think it was cute and he was just showing that he cared, but no this guy had a serious problem.

    Not to mention he's had over 30 - 40 Facebook accounts for no reason. The final straw for me was when I found out he made a new account to talk to some chick I had suspicions about. When I confronted him about it, he said he wasn't hiding anything, but didn't want me on that account. I really didn't trust him about it, and we argued non- stop till I just said forget it. He didn't call me a few days and I got curious as to what was going on so I checked the Facebook. On his wall I saw him talking to that girl telling her how I abandoned him. Then he put another post talking to her thanking her for cheering him up. He went on about how she was such an amazing women and that he was going to cut me off completely and how happy he was that he was doing it.

    You have no idea how pissed I was. I did everything for that guy and made so many sacrifices for his happiness, but no matter what I did he was never satisfied. The funny thing about it though is that he tries to play both sides. When he's with me he's always talking down on his friends as if they treat him so bad, but once we split go right back to them. I'm pretty sure he bad mouths me too seeing why he would try to keep me a secret from his friends.

    Upon looking at it from an ex girlfriend point of view he really was trying to play me, and he had been for the past few months. It took me a lot of courage and willpower to finally extract my emotions from this guy and focus more on myself. I feel like he's been trying to win that girl over and hasn't been successful, and when his attempts don't work comeback to me and try to win me over again. During the relationship he was extremely verbally abusive, and it killed my confidence alot. So I'm slowly bring it back up one step at a time, and I can honestly say these past two months have been peaceful and drama free. It is really tough letting someone you love go, but you have to stop looking at it through rose colored glasses. You broke up for a reason.

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    • Your story sounds almost identical to what I am going through right now. My was also verbally abusive and also killed my confidence. It made me feel not good enough. And I Still can get over it. I hang out with friends and try to keep myself busy but it is so hard to get rid of the memories. What where your first steps on bringing that confidence back up? and move on?

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    • ur story is inspiring! good work getting over that loser. I know a lot of people will read this and use your words to help with the pain they are feeling

    • Thank you for best answer! :) I hope that is does! <3

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What Girls Said 7

  • My ex husband quit his job one month after we were married. This put an emotional and financial burden on our relationship. I felt like I could not trust him. Without trust the relationship did not thrive. He made so many promises and did not live up one. He let me down. I learned a valuable lesson: I don't need someone in order to be happy. Life is too short to be under so much stress.

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  • I don't have a story for this yet, but I believe Its called a breaking point because you will actually feel your heart break. and that's how you'll know you've had enough.

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  • There's a limit to patience

    The breaking point will be when my heart and mind wears out and I will say good bye. I will not change my decision once I make up my mind.

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  • It's so hard to explain. It's different for everything. Write down a few things you KNOW you deserve from a relationship. Then ask yourself if they give you that or not

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  • Good question. For me, it finally came when I hurt so much for so long that mt doc actually wanted to put me on anti-depressants. Wow. I had always been the most motivated, go getter, positive person, but him and his chaotic life just took so much for 6 LONG years that I woke up - I had to preserve my own health, happiness and positivity.

    A relationship is about making your life better, having someone there for you who loves you, cares for you, etc., and when you aren't getting that, it IS time to bail!

    Feel free to ask me any other question in a message here. Happy to help. Merry Christmas :)

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  • Well I think it depends on how much you like her (in addition to loving her). If it is hard for you not to have her in your life than I don't think you reached your breaking point. A breaking point to me is when you completely shut down and never want to see the person again.

    What is she doing to hurt you over and over? If cheating, screw her. Is it something she is trying to work on and fix as to not hurt her than maybe give her a chance.

    I wish I could tell you a story but I never seem to reach my breaking point, which isn't healthy by any means. If you are being treated badly, she knows this and has not even made the tiniest effort to change than enough is enough.

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  • I'm a very loyal person and I don't give up on people I love. The breaking point for me (both times) was when I had heard 'I'm sorry' for the same BS too many times. When someone apologizes for hurting you, and then keeps up with the behavior, eventually your heart will become cold to that person because it's trying to protect yourself. When the heart becomes cold, and you can no longer properly love that person, that's the breaking point.

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What Guys Said 4

  • i've been going through the same. deciding when enough is enough is the hardest thing especially when you guys have had so many great times together. the person has to make an honest attempt to change. threaten to leave because you can't take it. if they get scared then maybe they'll be serious. if they seem like its only you who's not happy then its probably not worth any more hurt

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  • How do I decide enough is enough? When I masturbate so much in one day, my dick hurts.

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  • It's very hard to decide because so many situations are different

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  • Acceptance that the person will not change. If they have heart you repeatedly it's obvious that they are not going to change and you will end up hurting yourself far more in the long run if you don't end it.

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