Should I write my ex a letter?

She broke up with me abiut 9 months ago. I have thought about her every single day since. Recently I have been thinking about things I could have done better. Now I was a good boyfriend to her. Always told her how beautiful she is, and how much I loved her. I never cheated on her and never came close, didn't even think about it. I'm not going to beg for her back, although I would like her to be my baby girl again. I just want to appologize for not being the best that I could. I have the letter planned out. I just don't know if I would somehow make things worse. Her parents are always taking her phone so I don't know if she has it. I am absolutely convinced that she is the one that I am meant to be with. I have felt that since the first time I seen her. She was and still is the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that writing the letter would be good for you but I wouldn't give it to her. Write it and then rip it up and try to gain closure over the situation for yourself. Unless you find out she still has feelings for you or something, you don't want to give her a letter confessing your feelings for her like that.

    I know how you feel about thinking about her everyday. I still think about my ex daily and we've been broken up for a lot longer. I even see him occasionally but I'm able to compartmentalize my feelings and act cordial--friendly even--with him and he acts normal with me now. That takes time though and it took a while for us to get to that point. But we don't talk outside of in person interaction and that's only in large groups with mutual friends.

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What Girls Said 6

  • You can always try, it won't hurt anything but your heart or ego. That is a long time though, so it could go either way. She could be totally over you and be talking to someone else or still have feelings and will want to talk or see you. Take a chance because you don't want to spend more time wondering when you could really move on if you need to.

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  • I read your question and I admire your sensitivity then I read your other question below and feel like you didnot mean a word of what you said here...not trying to judge but you have to decide what you exactly want...give that letter to your ex THEN move on to meetvillle..

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    • Well it has been 9 months. While I would do anything to have her back, I am begining to accept that she may be beyond my grasp. I am not expecting her to jump for joy and ask for me back. Then again if she does I'll cut ties with anyone I met and delete my Meetme.

    • I suggest you do the opposite, get a closure from her then meet someone new...imagine the person you meet online is doing the same thing, how would you feel? I only tried online dating to get over a crush after I was sure that my crush is with someone else, but I still can't get him out of head, and it's hard to involve someone new when your mind is with someone else,unless you're looking for something casual or good company, and the other person is looking for the same thing.

  • Wait... I'm confused..?

    Is your letter a really long text message? Because if is then don't do that... It's means nothing... Send her an actual letter if you do!

    And oh my smurf, your so southern... Baby girl!?

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    • Yes. I'm a Kentucky country boy. And I called her baby girl, baby doll, that sorta stuff. And no. It's a hand written, paper letter.

  • Absolutely write it. Then shred it and burn it but don't EVER send it. It won't help.

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  • Just leave it be

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  • no.

    Your ex should say in the past.

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What Guys Said 4

  • YES write her a letter. Put down all of your emotions about what you like and adore about her. Maybe write down how you feel that you two are meant to be together. How much you cared and wished for more.

    Then write also write all the things you didn't like when you were together things that you wished she would have done differently, please take you time and think of everything all the good and the bad.

    then continue writing how she hurt you by this break up and how it effected you life even still to this day. Besure to put in their all the thing that use to keep you happy before just is non existent today and that you want better for your soul.

    write down everything , and read it over and over adding what you may have forgotten no need to re write the whole thing just add another page if needed.

    THEN satisfied with your letter put it in an addressed envelope seal it ! find a safe place for you to be by yourself and take a deep breath say good bye to her and BURN THE LETTER !

    after it has disappeared take a deep breath again stand up and begin the new chapter of your life !

    good luck, God bless !

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  • You can but it won't do anything. You can convince yourself of anything and I mean anything so get control of your mind for gods sake. Lifes too short. There are lots of women out there. Millions. I see women all the time who are great. You can apologize. It won;t necessarily do anything but you might feel like a fool more than you do now.

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  • You can write it, but do not send it. You'll go a lot further if you stop putting women on a pedestal.

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  • Well first think. Are you sending her this letter because you genuinely care about her or are you sending this letter because your lonely, sad, or really just want a girlfriend again? Do you honestly care about her and her personality, her dreams, and her ideas? Are you willing to make changes in your life in order to fix whatever went wrong the first time? Have you tried to work on yourself since the break up? I also suggest you look at your idea of who your meant to be with and whether or not your thinking about that realistically. Don't forget about yourself too. Is this honestly in your best interest? I don't have an answer for you because there is no straight forward answer but I suggest you think about it first. You have plenty of time and there are plenty of people in the world. Try finding something to take your mind off of her then think about it again. If you still feel the same way then no doubt you should go for it, but right now I suggest you wait.

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    • Well there havw been other girls. But I can't being myself to pursue a relationship with them because all I think about is her and that wouldn't be fair to any of them

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    • I do. I'm guessing it's from me movinf around a bunch as a kid. I never had a chance to make friends or get attatched to anyone.

    • Same here. So I've been through a very similar experience. I say write the letter but do NOT send it. Give it time. A lot of time. Like months. Then go back and read it. You might still like her but I doubt you'll agree with what you wrote.

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