What is a good legitimate reason to break up and why?

I have realized over the years that people break up over a lot of things that could be fixed through better communication. Other times people break up while searching for some obscure idea of perfection. Other times people break up over minuscule things just to avoid being in the relationship any longer for whatever reason. So I just wanted to know what others felt was a good legitimate reason to break up and why.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • most ligitimate reason that I've had was a mutual break up some years ago , where my then (and again now ) boyfriend and I realized that we had been together for all of the years that had defined who we are as individuals, all through high school and our first year of university, while we wanted to be together we were both afraid that we were together because we just didn't know how to be alone, we could not describe our selves with out saying "so-and-sos partner". Which is bad for personal growth. As we had always seen us as a forever thing we wanted to make sure we wanted to be together and we had to do it then before things go to serious and a break-up would require paperwork and possible custody battles. It was what we needed, and that break up just lead to us getting back together with a new strength knowing that this is what we want and that there is no other path that we want to take.

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    • I really like this. My current girlfriend and I went through a similar experience except we didn't discuss it before hand. So I broke up with her first for the reason you described above and regretted it then she broke up with me for the same reason and regretted it. Now were back together and things are looking good

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What Girls Said 3

  • When you really don't want the same things in life. You are attracted someone, you even love that someone at first because he/she is so different, and they you realize the compromises you'd have to do to make it work are so big that it would mean erasing big parts of who you are.

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  • I wouldn't break up with someone without giving it a real chance. I would only break up with someone when I no longer see a future with someone, or I believe their are things that have happened that I would not be able to live with in the future. I can't stand it when people stay together just because they are afraid of being alone. To be honest I felt more alone in an unhappy relationship than when I was actually single.

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  • cheating, sexually incompatible, abusive ect..

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    • Could you explain what you mean by sexually incompatible?

What Guys Said 4

  • It all depends on your individual values and what's important to you. At the end of the day, anything that you decide you can't live with any more is a legitimate reason to break up.

    My sister was in a bad marriage for years, and finally left the dirt bag when he accused her of cheating. That was the clincher, not everything else he'd done. It's all in your personal perspective.

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  • The legitimate reasons are the three A's . . . Affair, Assault, Addiction.

    I agree with you that other differences tend to be petty and can be repaired by better communication.

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    • I like these but if you don't mind could you expand on the addiction one?

    • Wikipedia: Addiction is the continued repetition of a behavior despite adverse consequences. When the addict is forced to choose between his "drug" and the people he claims to love, he'll pick his "drug". He'll continue his habit even though his family suffers.

  • A good reason? How about if you stay with her any longer, you might be driven to do something violent.

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    • Eh I get what you mean here but I feel like this is playing the victim. I personally feel like I am the only one that can be held responsible for my behavior and if I'm drawn to violence it's my own fault. But I understand what you mean. This is probably something that could be solved with more communication though.

  • Cheating is the big one. You cheat, and it's over. Period. I will NOT stay after cheating. Why? Because she broke my heart, broke my trust, and I will never be able to trust her again. No amount of communication can restore trust once it's gone. Not fully. Doubt will always be there. It will always creep back in. No trust. No relationship.

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    • I hear this one a lot, I agree with it, and it makes sense. I do have one question though and it's purely for thought. Why do you think we get angry when we're cheated on? Why is it such a big deal to us?

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    • Did it hurt you?

    • Of course. It hurts everyone but I don't know why. Nothing physically painful happened but I was still hurt. I couldn't explain why so I always ask others for their opinions.

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