Just my opinion about break up advice.... What do you think?

It seems that people get really swept up in things like "No contact rule" to get your ex back. It is stupid to impose a formula on a relationship and doesn't work. It breeds more lies and bad communication between you and your ex.

Always be honest and truthful with your ex. If you want to start again, tell them! Because there's no reason to miss your chance at being honest. You have nothing to lose because when you know the outcome for sure, you can get on with your life instead of anxiously plotting away. keep your head held high and tell them the truth. Feel proud of your bravery and that your integrity is stronger than your ego and pride. Tell them, and be proud and happy when you tell them. Show them how strong you are. They will be impressed. Don't beg of course, but say it with conviction! And bow out with grace if they don't want to, and then you can stop the hoping and start anew.
Updates:
I don't know why I put 'honest' and 'truthful' in the same sentence, geez tautology alert!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think the no contact rule exists to encourage reunion between your ex, but instead to promote healing. If you break up it happened for a reason. The first stage of grief is denial, so staying in touch with your ex post break up may lead to emotional chaos.

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    • Yes I agree with it when there isn't some game going on...but a lot of advice says "go no contact, make them miss you and they come back". I think it's silly!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Formulas are for people without self-control. Like not being able to write "I sentences" in third grade is a formula to help the student be more objective. Or a hamburger is a formula for someone who can't cook well.

    It's not a no-no to contact an ex after a breakup. But if you're an emotionally unstable person or not ready for it, you should avoid it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Agreed! I've done the 'no contact' thing while wanting to get back together. It was a disaster and spun more bullshit into the web of bullshit that was already there. Lesson learned! I only do 'No Contact' now if I'm done and done. I was weak, though, and took the break-up hard and I was so confused.

    But I do find people who play the 'no contact' role in order to buy time, I guess you can say. Whether it be to figure out should they stay or go, or to just detach enough emotionally in order to communicate on a healthier level.

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