PLEASE help! Dumped, going through chemo & pregnant, what do I do?

So I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet but it's gonna be hard. My ex whom I still live with recently dumped me, said I kept him from getting his self together since he felt like he had to please me, told me he couldn't help me through my chemo and that he wanted to see other people to see if there was better. We still live together because I basically couldn't afford to move out& didn't have anyone I could stay with to where I could still be comfy. Going through chemo I can't be around small kids or a lot of people because I'm prone to so much and my body is weaker than usual, so I literally had no where else to go. afterward he came back and begged me to let him help me through this situation. I didn't want to, but I almost had no choice. Although, my friends and family have been great about coming to help me feed me take me to appts. He refuses to sleep on the couch, it hurts me to sleep on the couch so we sleep in the same bed. Recently we had a falling out because I asked him to shower before getting in my bed after sex with other women. He got mad told me "f" me and to get out. I went over a friend house but knew I couldn't stay there for long since her son was sick.I went for chemo yesterday and found out I was pregnant! I thought the nausea was a side effect of my chemo but the Dr was worried cause it too extreme. I don't get my periods regular because of the chemo, so it never crossed my mind, and the fact that I hadn't had sex with him in over a month. My dr made sure from the start that my chemo drugs were safe for pregnancy only because I was so young and planned on having kids one day, just not this soon, so she says it's safe to follow through with the pregnancy. I just don't know whee to go from here? We are not talking and I voted to never talk to him again. Should I tell him? Should I wait to tell him? I don't want to terminate, but I also know I can't count on him being there for me. What do I do?

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  • wow. this is a really upsetting story. sorry to hear about your ordeal, I can't imagine it's easy.

    I think the first thing you need to really try and figure out is if you can get out of that living situation. it just sounds stressful and not really condusive the type of environment that is necessary for your recovery. Of course the medications and medical help you get is vital but I think a peaceful homelife is also very necessary and it doesn't seem like you are capable of getting this here.

    The guy you're staying with sounds very VERY selfish and considering what you are going through and his lack of general empathy is disappointing. Saying you want to help someone through a situation is one thing but his actions speak louder than his words.

    You're right you can't count on him to be there for you but you should tell him about the pregnancy anyway as it is his responsibility as well.

    If you can raise the child on your own go for it, but otherwise you may need to consider alternatives like adoption or something like that... but again if you can raise the child on your own and it's what you want to do then you should do that

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What Guys Said 3

  • you need to tell him, you need to find someone who can and will be able to help you out. Either family or friends. You need to get out of his house immediately. Get a lawyer for paternity and support, you're going to need it.

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  • You have to tell him. If its his kid he has a right to know. This is no longer about you but about your potential child. Who are you to deny that child a father?

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  • Well I feel sorry for you the only thing I can say to make you fell better is hang in there baby

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What Girls Said 2

  • Can we talk through txt message or kik? My friend's mother went though this and I think she might be able to give you some insight. She's 32, so her age isn't that far off from you

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    • If you are sharing a bed and he is sleeping with other women, he needs to shower. You could get really sick from any foreign bacteria

    • Yes, I sent you a friend request. Once you approve it, I'll message my number.

  • Whatta mitch! I'd kick him out money or not I'd still kick him out. This is making me wanna kick his ass out for you. I'd be like I have a weakened immune system and you still livin with me, so get your dumb ass in the shower and park it on the couch. Put pepper in his pillow and let him think I'm playin. Because all he's doing is adding stress to your situation and the condition you're in and it isn't good. For your sanity I'd get someone to get the sheriff and tell him he has 30days, get the steppin. I wouldn't tell him since he isn't the least bit stable right now.

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