My trust is gone and I don't know how to get it back or if I should even bother?

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, living with him for one and a half. At the beginning of our relationship ( talking every day and seeing each other several times a week0 he told me about a girl friend next store that came to visit him to get away from the craziness of her place. About 4 months after we became a couple I found out from one of his friends that they we're more then friends but in fact in a romantic relationship at the same time as I was seeing him ( 3 months in)and he lied about her to me. Then he was always telling me about another women that he'd known since middle school and that he reconnected with by chance. How she helped him and that they were just friends and never anything more because he didn't want to hurt his friendship with her. I didn't think anything about it until I went to find a picture of his son to send my parents and found 50 pictures of her. Them having sex, her topless, him pulling her top off and her clothed. I was pissed. Why would he lie about that. Then because all my trust for him was gone I went through his Facebook messages and found message after message of him and the girl next store saying they missed each other, and do you want that kiss now and him asking if they should get back together and that he had her over for a secret dinner at his place when we were talking about moving in together. At that point we were about 6 months into a relationship. Then I found messages from his (we're nothing but friends) girl to see he was madly in love with her and asked her to move in and she had a key to the house and that she broke his heart. ( Those messages where before we met ) Then several months later( 6 plus after we were together) I see messages to 5 women on his Facebook( that he'd slept with or tried to before we met ) saying he was lonely and single and couldn't find anyone. I lost it and dumped him on Facebook and now his parents hate me and tell him I'm not to be trusted and to leave me. He never told them the truth and still to this day won't be honest about why he did those things to me and most of the time I hate him. At least once a day I wish I moved out. I have no trust for him even though he removed them from Facebook and is home with me every night.

He tried to hold onto girls he has sexual feelings for as well. not to mention that it took him 2 years to respect me enough ( with an ultimatum) that if he doesn't stop oggeling women when he's with me and disrespecting me and empowering them 'm going to start empowering the men looking at me. I don't know how to make this go away. His parents disrepect me and think I'm the one doing what he did. He tells people I can't get over the past. He's not doing any of these things any more that I know of but to me that's an indicator of someones moral fiber. What do you think of this? I could really use some insight.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I didn't even have to read this entire thing to say DUMP HIS SORRY ASS. Once a player, always a player. Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. If he's capable of doing it once, he will be capable of doing it again. Leave him, and the only thing you have to feel bad about is the poor girl who ends up with him for life because she will be cheated on plenty, and live a really sad & unhappy life. Hope you take this advice... I really do.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Find someone better. This guy is a piece of shit.


What Girls Said 1

  • He should not be talking neg about you esp to family members, because they will always remember the bad things he said about you. Letting go of the past is hard, but have you noticed anything going on since you've moved in together? Anything at all.

    • No he changed his behavior when I found all the messages and what he was doing. The only thing that he hasn't bothered to do while telling me he takes full responsibility and how sorry he is for doing that is he allows his family and friends to believe I'm the one doing what he did and that I'm not to be trusted. and tells me it's okay his familt will forgive me in time. How degrading

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