Why do I always over think? Help?

I’m 17 and in high school. I get anxious when going to public places such as school. I over think way too much which my mind goes allover the place which makes me depressed. I’m not sure if that’s OCD because I would do it non stop. When someone says or does something for or to me, I immediately think something and think something else. I start to study their face or how they said it, like how they looked at me, I start to think “Does he like me?” “Omg she hates me or thinks I’m weird because she looked at me like that!” “I shouldn’t have said this, now everyone will think I’m stupid or weird” “My boyfriend hasn’t texted me back. He thinks I’m annoying! He’s losing interest” “Boyfriend likes her.”(usually every girl he talks to or knows) My mind goes allover the place and it is just annoying and crazy, I can’t calm down. Some have told me to stop worrying but I just can’t. I have a boyfriend now and worried he will stop liking me.

When he says or does something, I of course over think and over analyze what he said or did. I usually assume he lost interest in me. We’ve been dating for 3 months and I’m his first girlfriend. My boyfriend doesn’t really know that I think this, I usually keep it in but when I get home, I let it all out. I get so awkward in conversations and anxious when talking to some people, can’t stand that awkward silence, makes me feel uncomfortable. I sometimes say things that I later regret because I don’t really know what to talk about. I’m still regretting and making sure nothing bad happens, like my 2 friends told other people about it even though I told them to not tell and I trust them but I’m just really afraid.

I get all happy about my boyfriend then my whole over-thinking turns on and I start to think about what I told my 2 friends about hanging with my boyfriend and his ears getting red whenever we make out which confused me and if he likes someone else or is losing interest in me or is using me. I keep comparing him to my ex boyfriend which that relationship was hell and he used me as an ego booster, it was just bad. I’m really insecure about how I look and act, I feel really unattractive. Like I said, boyfriend doesn’t really know I over think like this nor anything else that I’ve wrote. I keep it all to myself which it’s driving me nuts. I’m still worrying about multiple things, can’t eat right now because of this. I regret telling them that. What to do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You're over analyzing right in your question. Your key problem seems to be self esteem. You think everyone doesn't like you and your drive yourself crazy worrying about it.

    The key to remember is that your friends are around you BECAUSE they like you. If your boyfriend found you annoying, he wouldn't be with you.

    You need to learn to RELAX and stop giving a shit what people think. You're in high school, so I know you think this stuff is the end of the world, but after you graduate, none of it will matter. You'll never see most of the people you know right now again, so who gives a shit what they think? Same with 99% of the people you meet.

    The main question is if you're OK with YOURSELF because at the end of the day, that's what really matters. The only person you really have to live with is yourself.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Love is acceptance. Accept yourself, flaws and all, and don't think you need anyone that much that you have to be PERFECT.

    NO ONE is perfect.

    I am glad that you posted this so that we can help you give an outside perspective.

    I also happen to think the added pressure you are feeling indicates that you are NOT emotionally ready to be dating!

    You can be friends with guys, but as far as intimacy, you need to wait until you and your mind are mature and strong enough to handle it.

    Relationships DO cause stress, and often, the wrong guy causes TOO MUCH stress.

    Believe me, I am a resilient and strong woman, but have had to leave and walk away when feeling unloved, or insecure became too much. If someone you are with is bringing out bad qualities, making you feel more insecure, then this is a HUGE sign that you have to, must, reconsider your behavior.

    I say if any guy really cares, you step back, tell him you need time to deal with your issues, and if he stays and cares still as a friend, that in itself helps. You need love and support, and my impression here is you aren't getting it.

    I also think you are forcing yourself to be ready when emotionally, you are not.

    Hope this helps.

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