Does this seem fishy to you?

I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now. We started out as friends and didn't hook up for a long time, which is why I think we're still together. Anyway, he has this bestfriend from highschool who is a female. We all went to the same highschool. I continuously get into the same fight with him over and over again about her because I don't fully trust him. He hasn't given me a reason not to trust him other than the fact that he visits her families house whenever he gets the chance. He says he considers her like family and feels at home there yet he also admitted he used to have a crush on her. I moved to this city after highschool and so did she. I wasn't close with either of them back then. He eventually moved up here to go to school and to be closer to her. He says her family helped him move to this city and he is grateful. He's the perfect boyfriend to me other than the fact that he still hangs around her. She also has a boyfriend who gets upset just like me that they hang out. I've dumped my boyfriend several times over this and put him through hell. He's suggested moving in together with me so he can be closer to me and drives up to see me all the time because 1. he drives and 2. his house is 15 minutes away. Yet he still tries to hang out with her and her boyfriend but they both flake on him a lot. I can't seem to end it with him fully because he's so great to me, but should I be okay with this? He claims they've never been together or anything, but they've been friends for like 5 years.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think its suspicious, but a lot of your question is based about all the time he is spending with HER and not with YOU - which is a valid complaint but it lends very little insight into the nature of their friendship or his relationship with you.

    Something I am left wondering is whether or not there is a hobby they are both into that you dislike and won't do with him? Ideally its best he do such with a guy friend, but as the case may be it is female.

    Another enigmatic angle is her boyfriend. If he is upset about it and you are upset about it, why haven't these two discussed it with eachother? If they are really friends it seems they would at least come up with something to make things less stressful. "Coupling" comes to mind, like playing a 4-person card game (both couples) once a week with snacks and joking, or other activity, so they can hang out but with everyone present its more fun and less suspicious.

    5 years is a long time to be friends... but still, why all the solo action?

    • He says he doesn't get to see her a lot but goes over to her house cause her dad cooks which sounds like a load of bs to me. And she has a sister. They do like going to music festivals together but I don't like the ones he picks..However I did buy him tickets for one of his favorite deejays on Friday so we'll see how that goes. They will suggest couple plans to do but it seems like it always falls through...

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    • He's tried to get me to hang out with her but it never happens.

      Investigation? I don't have time for that.

      PLUS he just got a second job so now I won't really see him. I've tried dumping him before but I always regret it after. What should I do to get over him?

    • Text that whipped piece of crap for a boyfriend and tell him because of the last cancellations you want to make it up to the two of them and you are having a hard time thinking of ideas and want to know where he would like to go. That way if he tells her, it won't be too suspicious because you're just being inclusive of the two couples, but if she acts on that, then SHE will look suspicious so I know she won't if she wants to lie low.

      Get over him? Most GAG'rs agree, its just time.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • They're friends. You need to lay off and either learn to trust him, or move on. The problem is not with him and he is under no obligation to ruin a friendship that is obviously very important to him for you. You need to learn to deal with your insecurities.

    Do you spend much time with this girl? If not, maybe you should make the effort to befriend her. It might make it easier for you to be more trusting.

    • I've tried to. I threw a surprise bday party for him but she flaked, her and her boyfriend always flake on him and I feel bad he has to go through that.

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    • That last sentence made you sound like a condescending wench.

    • Wench? Interesting choice of words but alright. All I'm trying to do is offer advice and support without sugar-coating it, but if that's the attitude you're going to take all I can do is wish you good luck.

  • Sorry but it's got nothing to do with this girl. You don't trust him...big problem! You cannot live with someone you don't trust whatever the reason. Remove the girl you'll have the same problem. Bye is the only word

  • Christ. You've been with him for 4 months and you've already dumped him "several" times over this? This is not a good way to start a relationship. I'd cut your losses, as hard as that may be.


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