I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now. We started out as friends and didn't hook up for a long time, which is why I think we're still together. Anyway, he has this bestfriend from highschool who is a female. We all went to the same highschool. I continuously get into the same fight with him over and over again about her because I don't fully trust him. He hasn't given me a reason not to trust him other than the fact that he visits her families house whenever he gets the chance. He says he considers her like family and feels at home there yet he also admitted he used to have a crush on her. I moved to this city after highschool and so did she. I wasn't close with either of them back then. He eventually moved up here to go to school and to be closer to her. He says her family helped him move to this city and he is grateful. He's the perfect boyfriend to me other than the fact that he still hangs around her. She also has a boyfriend who gets upset just like me that they hang out. I've dumped my boyfriend several times over this and put him through hell. He's suggested moving in together with me so he can be closer to me and drives up to see me all the time because 1. he drives and 2. his house is 15 minutes away. Yet he still tries to hang out with her and her boyfriend but they both flake on him a lot. I can't seem to end it with him fully because he's so great to me, but should I be okay with this? He claims they've never been together or anything, but they've been friends for like 5 years.
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I think its suspicious, but a lot of your question is based about all the time he is spending with HER and not with YOU - which is a valid complaint but it lends very little insight into the nature of their friendship or his relationship with you.
Something I am left wondering is whether or not there is a hobby they are both into that you dislike and won't do with him? Ideally its best he do such with a guy friend, but as the case may be it is female.
Another enigmatic angle is her boyfriend. If he is upset about it and you are upset about it, why haven't these two discussed it with eachother? If they are really friends it seems they would at least come up with something to make things less stressful. "Coupling" comes to mind, like playing a 4-person card game (both couples) once a week with snacks and joking, or other activity, so they can hang out but with everyone present its more fun and less suspicious.
5 years is a long time to be friends... but still, why all the solo action?
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