How can I let go of this? Please help?

I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a bit and I have so much guilt lately I can't even eat without feeling like puking.

You see, I have this exhibitionism problem. I used to send girls pictures of my junk and jack off on webcam on omegle and such. One thing I have to stress is that it was ALWAYS completely anonymous every time and nobody saw my face or had any idea who I was.

I never regarded it as cheating, but lately I've been thinking and I feel like I cheated. I can't take it anymore, I can't take the guilt.

I don't want this to be a debate on whether or not it was cheating, I just need help and advice.

All I want to do is forgive myself and never do it again, ever. But I can't seem to let go. I want it to be a mistake that I made and have learned from but I'm having so much trouble forgiving myself and I can't tell her and lose her, she's my life.

I know I will never ever make the same mistake again, but the guilt is always here.

Please help me
Updates:
If it means anything, it's always been for the reaction.

I never actually spoke to them sexually or engaged in "cyber sex".
(or sexting, for that matter)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe you're not forgiving yourself because she hasn't forgiven you if she is your life and all. I think you should tell her and see how she reacts...but it's up to you.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You need counselling, if you feel that bad and it hasn't stopped there's obviously some issue you're burying, you need help if you want to stop. If you're thinking how embarrassing you clearly don't love her more than being embarrassed in private. Your choice, do something or tell her, if it were me I might understand if you were getting help but only then

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  • aawww you love her...which is more of a reason to be honest ..do it before she finds out (and you know us women always find out) whatever happens at least it was with the truth

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What Guys Said 1

  • she won't find out. Don't tell her and forget it for gods sake

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