Unexpected crush on coworker of 9 yrs.

have a deep crush on a coworker of 9 years that slowly started developing 2 years ago. I started assuming he was the guy for me but screwed up any chances by drunk txting my feelings for him well I freaked him out and we never talked again and thi happened 3 mos ago. Before that l would txt him normal wk related stuff because I know he shy type. I know I totally blindsided him because I never found him attractive but I would notice him look at me a lot, but never talk to me. I actually found his friend more appealing. I hate to admit a made a fool by saying something as cruel as no way he looks retarded for reasons I can't see now, he just wasn't my type back in my 20's, well he and the cowker I found cute overheard me put my foot in my mouth he overheard and I got embarrassed but never apologize just pretend it didn't happen. This happened 2yrs wking together. For the next 3 years we just ignored e.o. Slowly time was healing and we started not ignoring e.o.as it never happened and resumed speaking grounds. A year of that led to smiles and comfy rapport like making each other laugh, and that's when I started noticing how peculiarly so alike in temperament, speech, etc, but not so fast yet, it was more like a subconscious awakening and my ears were starting to remember things he says to noticing him but very lightly slowly like subconsciously, because there is something there way deep trying to emerge at least from my end. Another year or two go by and my attraction is set in stone one summer day when I noticed how unbelievably attracted to him because of his rayban sunglasses? I felt a sex attraction right then and soon after I became a mute. A year later I couldn't take it anymore I started trying to txt him but he would never txt back but it wasn't romance just random txts, still this is shocking to him. It didn't fuse anything but awkward stares and careful silence around each other. He broke the silence by casually talking to me once, but nothing after that I txt him again casually with no response. And nothing in person either, same process of staring and silence. It was starting to bother me since by now it's apparent I'm into him so txt again nothing. And a few mos later I'm drinking and thinking and I want something any response just to analyze it and move on, so I txt him why can't you respond wtf, no reply. An hr go by I txt again you think your too good.etc no reply. 3 hrs I txt my feelings and stuff no reply another hr I txt aggressively how frustrating it was and how he could at least reply notlhing so after about 10 txts I began to c what I have done and mortified. How can I face him. Next day I get a txt.''wow.really 10 txts I was out of town/unable to read your txts. Pls lose my #'' that's when it hit me and I quickly txt ''done. Don't trip'' and took my vac days one mo off to ease off. I come back he seems different like sad and constantly stares no interaction, but I'm kinda aloof and distant. How much can go on it's driving me mad I'm so in love.
Thanks a bunch for your answers. I suppose your right anonymous user, it's one sided in it not being fair that I developed these feelings. It doesn't help knowing that he is single, but Marty you right as well he not interested and thankfully he didn't make a fuss about. It's tough I still crave him, but I know how shy he is and I couldn't see him making a move. I did what I did, but it wasn't the worst action certainly not the best. I am riding it out. I'm still quiet around him but no longer pining


Most Helpful Guy

  • Unexpected crushes are the best kind..but it's just as well you blew it, office romances rarely work out and get really sticky when they don't.

    It's OK to be in love, but he's made it clear you should try to keep that to yourself.

    • Thnx...it's sad but true. Glad to say I'm dating online and well I'm looking up!

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think the first step, which will be hard, is to shift the focus from him to you. The problem is that you are waiting for him to do/be something for you. That's not fair to him. Instead I would focus on whether you are really in love with him, or the fantasy of him. Ride the wave of embarrassment, I know it sucks, but be honest with him and yourself about it, and then act with him the way you want to with no expectations. That will take A LOT of practice, and baby steps. I say this because I know what waiting for a unrequited love feels like, and nothing is ever gained from waiting around for them to fall for you. If you two truly get along well, this will all pass, and you will find a way to be back in good terms. The more you distract yourself with fantasies of him, the harder it will be to fix your actual relationship. Also, give up being in control of the outcome. It is what it is. Once you do that, the conclusion is usually exactly what you need. At least that's my 2 cents.


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