Why is my girlfriend being distant with me?

We recently got back together after being together for over a year, we have had our differences with each other but I am determined to make things work. I love her a great deal, but I feel she is somewhat evasive and doesn't even want to put our relationship status on Facebook. I know this sounds petty, however, every time we have been together, she insisted we did. I don't know where I stand and I am willing to do anything to make this work with her.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to be upfront with her about it. When girls are distant there are mainly two reasons. One, we want to be with you but are afraid to show our feelings and let it seem real because we are terrified that we will get hurt. This usually comes into play when the couple has dated previously (your situation) or if she has had a lot of bad relationships. Allowing the feelings to be known to everyone and therefore become real really opens a girl up and make her vulnerable. Also, she could be afraid to put it one FB with the fear of embarrassment if your relationship doesn't work out again. Two, (the most unwanted reason) the feelings just aren't the same. As girls, we hate to hurt others (for the most part) especially if they are someone we care about. Because of this, we may feel like we want to be in a relationship with someone because we do like them or do care for them but once we are officially dating that person, we may start to feel as if they like us more or that maybe we are better off as friends so we tend to distance ourselves. This allows us (and whoever we are dating) to not get so attached as well as a trick, sometimes, to make them bring up the behavior therefore leading to a break up. I don't want you to think it is automatically number two, especially since you two have previously dated so that's already good for you, but you definitely need to talk to her. If you don't, it will just continue to bug you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • She's still not happy

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What Guys Said 1

  • Unfortunately your not in the right head space about this. If she isn't willing to do anything to make it work, you're just going to wear yourself out trying to make her love you when it's not gonna happen. Sit her down, have a long damn talk about what's going on with the two of you, and go from there. Don't just have the mentality of "I'll do anything and everything if it'll keep us together" because that's not even remotely healthy.

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