So afraid of him hurting me, I find myself pulling away. Can you help me?

I met this amazing guy he is more than a girl could wish for, he is like the best person I ever met and he makes me so happy I can't even describe it. But we met online a little over two months ago and I was just finishing up a bad break up. My ex was abusive and it took a lot out of me to finally leave him. He has been begging me to get back together since. But my guy knows about everything and for Christmas my ex was alone so he asked to come over so I took pity on him and asked my mom if he could come over. She said okay, I told him okay and he came. There was a lot of drama involved him and I arguing, me crying, him also crying and begging me... So afterward later in the night, I told my guy about the day and he is sort of pulling away from me. I can see the difference in the way he chats with me and it has made me too afraid to call him, I'm afraid of what he might say. I have been hurt so much before by so many people not just my ex but family too and I really can't stand to be hurt again. I am already hurting knowing he might not want me anymore and I don't think I can deal with him saying he doesn't want me. I find myself putting up a wall against him now because I can't stand it if I get hurt like that. Yesterday I was so sad and I found myself crying at work and I tried to stop it but I can't I just feel so sad. Like nobody loves me. Which I used to feel before I met this guy and I really thought he was the one. He loved me back to my senses and now he's taking it away. I feel like a stray puppy that nobody wants. I don't know what to do. I have to go to work again now, so I will not see your replies till tonight okay. Please help me.

Updates:
I am positive he is pulling away from me. I messaged him this morning and he did not reply just as yesterday he did not reply till I asked "No response?" My heart is breaking... I was already planning to spend my life with him. Have you ever been waiting all day to hear what someone would say, to just hear nothing? This is especially hurtful since he usually responds to me so I have the feeling he is seeing my messages and not responding. I feel so sad :'( I feel like I lost my other half...Sigh
He has completely iced me out now :(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Call your boyfriend, tell him exactly what you wrote here about what happened that day, that you took pity on the ex because he was all alone on xmas, and that you might have been naive to welcome him at your house but that you were firm and just confirmed him it was over.

    At the moment your boyfriend must feel very insecure about your feelings at least, or betrayed at worst, and ignoring him will only increase the damage.

    You should have thought a bit more before inviting the ex, so now you have to solve the situation, because it won't get solved by itself.

    If you tell him that nothing happened except you rejecting your ex, and if he really is into you, he will understand.

    Good luck :)

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Send him a last text, telling him he's the one you love, and that he should contact you again when he isn't mad anymore, because you can't wait to see him. (well find your own way of telling things) and wait for a few days for his answer. Past a week, start to move on. Good luck :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • TAKE YOUR TIME!

    Why do people feel the need to get into a relationship or fall for others when they aren't over their ex it amazes me . Tell that abusive guy to stop it if that's what you want. Talk to him and tell him it hurts and that it's the end of the story. Cut everything with him and stop being sorry for him. Be sorry for yourself for meting him and then move on.

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    • What happened ? what do you mean by completely "iced you out". He told you to back off or smth ?!

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