Hey is this normal? I don't know what to think of this?

So this cute married girl I work with and I are friends and nothing more, but she does confuse me quite a bit. When I first started she would stare at me in meetings and randomly bump into me. She is fairly shy and not very outgoing. She would stand around in a group with us in conversations, but never say anything. LOL. The first time I stopped her to talk alone she turned red in the face and could barely get a word out. After this we began to randomly take the same breaks in the morning and we would walk and talk back. This would happen 3-4 times a week for some time. I never thought anything of it other than she wanted a friend. I would talk about other girls around her and I think it may have made her jealous. After this I started to notice that she would do little things to make me jealous like flirt with a buddy of mine in front of me. Last time she did this she flirted with him while keeping her eye on me, then as I turned to walk away she ran to catch up with me.

So I changed departments and our morning breaks went away. We began to arrive to work at the same time, meet in the lobby and , ride the elevator up together talking. This happened 2-3 times a week at least. She even asked me one morning if I had changed up my morning break time, which I hadn't. I said no have you and she gave this coy smile and was like yes I've been coming in later, which also was not true because she was riding the elevator up with me. My immediate thought was she playing games?

So I will occasionally back off of her and change up my routine so not to see her as much. I will also not go out of my way to pay attention to her other than to say hi in passing. I know this bothers her and I can predict every time I do this she will come looking for me trying to get a read on me. Like find an excuse to come into my department. I recently did this for a couple weeks and new that she was going to do something. So my buddy tells me that she has been arriving and leaving the same time as him (walking and talking like her and I have always done) and how it was creeping him out. They have never done this before, and It made me jealous. Coincidence? So I start talking to her again and she does not walk and talk with him the past two weeks. Coincidence?

So I don't know what this girl wants from me. I am pretty sure she does not want a relationship, or does not want to act on any feelings towards me, although sometimes I feel like maybe she has a crush on me. I also feel like neither of us plan on acting on feelings, but that we both just want to know that the other one likes us? Because I feel like we both are constantly testing each other. Is this normal? Thoughts other than she's married stay away?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Some girls and guys have developed the idea that if they are attracted to somebody, but they are married, then they can still be friends, and there will be no harm in it. While you two may be smart enough not to act on these feelings, they can leave feeling a little confused many times because the next logical step that a "couple" would take, you two shouldn't.

    I would suggest talking to her and getting a little of this on the table and make sure that it's just innocent. If it is, then you could be good friends, as long as you both have no intentions on acting on it. She may even be your "work spouse"...look it up if you don't know. However I would remind you of one thing, just because you two have it worked out doesn't mean your actual spouses will understand, so it doesn't mean that you won't have some other trouble down the road.

    It is turns out that one or both of you really do want to act on these feelings, you better run, as there is NO WAY that a romance at work will turn out good for either of you!

    • Yes it is so very confusing and messes with my head. Last week she made it a point that I had never met her husband and that he would be at our holiday party. Then at the party she walks in looks over at me talking to the new guy and his wife. She waits a few min pretending like she had just noticed us sitting there and then brings her husband over to us. She introduces him to the new guy and his wife and not me leaving me feeling like an idiot. Then 2 min later introducs me all red in face

    • I think she is just trying to use you. Girls want attention and if she is married and having trouble in her relationship knowing that she can attract you and keep you interested helps her ego.

    • Really? I think that sometimes too, what makes you think so though?

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What Girls Said 2

  • Don't go there, she's married she's out of bounds. I recommend you get her out of your mind no matter what she does. Your feeding the desire even if she doing the pursuing or doing what she's doing. Your gona end up doing something if you don't and do you want to be known as a home wrecker.

  • I would suggest to stay away from married people, it really sounds to me like your mind is playing tricks on you and you are trying to turn nothing into something because she is cute.


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