Are these typical things that guys tend to do in a long term relationship?

1. Take your last dime for something stupid like buying a beer or playing an arcade game?

2. Inviting you out with their friends, but when you say you can't afford to go, he doesn't offer to pay your way?

3. Knows you're going through a rough time, but buys and cooks steaks for co-workers and doesn't offer to bring you one?

4. Makes plans, but doesn't follow through. Doesn't even cancel, just nonchantly disregards them.

I've heard that guys are slow. But, I'm wondering if this guy just doesn't care, or if he is a high functioning autistic person. He's been married before, and his ex wife cheated on him several times and got pregnant by someone else. I can see that if he neglected her the same way he does me. But, he either didn't learn, or really doesn't care. Does he seem like he's just not the dating type? It's definitely not even a trust issue at this point.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He doesn't seem to care. What is a long term relationship to you? How long have you been with him? Was he like this before?

    I can't know for sure the situation in your relationship, but please don't assume every man is like this just because you had a bad experience. If anything, it's you who can choose who to date. It sucks when you're in love with someone and he just doesn't put the same effort into the relationship, but it happens sometimes and it's healthier to end it before you get more hurt or frustrated.

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What Guys Said 4

  • This guy is simply selfish and self-centered. Yes, he might be clueless, rather than doing those things out of malice, but that doesn't make it any more right, and at his age, he is responsible for his actions regardless of the "why."

    Unfortunately, this type of behavior rarely changes, and obviously he hasn't learned from his past mistakes. You need to make some serious decisions...

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  • "... he either didn't learn, or really doesn't care." That's what it sounds like. Real mean at least TRY to care and are considerate to their women and put them FIRST. It sounds like he is really just concerned about himself and his own happiness. I would say try having a talk with him, maybe he's just developmentally slow or socially retarded/was raised poorly concerning relationships and the treatment of someone he cares about.

    If he doesn't change/make an effort to make change then I'd say he's either selfish/self-absorbed or is potentially just taking advantage of/using you intentionally.

    I wish you the best of luck and hope it all works out well for you both. Good luck, best wishes, and God Bless.

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  • It always starts with getting your heart broken then you feel like you are on this earth to destroy women in name of grief. And ye, He doesn't really care now

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  • Why do women choose to date losers and then come to the conclusion that "guys are slow"? You have complete control over who you choose to date. If you choose to date losers, you will find yourself in this situation every...fucking...time.

    Sounds to me like it's you who is slow. This is not rocket science.

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What Girls Said 3

  • He sounds immature to me. You should try and talk to him about it when neither of you are heated up. Let him know how you feel if you haven't already.

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  • You're dating a loser, so that's why he's slow. Any understanding and responsible man woudlnt do the things you listed

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  • he doesn't care about you. that's why.

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