I am so confused by all this?

I broke up with my ex of 4 years who cheated on me. My sister was the one I talk to about it so she knows about it. Her husband knows about it because he was around when it happened. When I try to talk to my sister she sighs and acts like I'm bothering her when I bring up the fact that my ex cheated on me. I haven't been able to talk too anyone about my feelings they just want me to suppress them. One time she asked me if I thought he had cheated on me during that time we were broken up but I was still in love with him so I said No. I felt like she knew but was just asking to see what if I thought he had or not. I feel that her husband told her about my ex cheating on me and she knew the whole time. They act as if nothing now and my ex comes by and they hang out with him. My sister even had told me that his friends had wanted him to break up with me. She admitted that one time that her husband had told her. The reason why I think she knew is because now my ex has a new girlfriend and they know I broke up with him because he cheated on me. Yet they tell me to keep hush on it. My sister still talks to him and now has become friends with his girlfriend. Yet her knowing the way my ex is has told me that it's my fault and she defends my ex for what he did. My dad had cheated on my mom and left us and I talked with my sister about it and she said my mom should have tried harder. My mom was a single mom and raised us all by herself. Yet my sister feels she should have tried harder for my dad to stay but my dad is still a cheater until this day. I don't get my sister and quite frankly I don't trust her and her husband anymore. They seem so hypocritical her husband even told me that next time I get another boyfriend to come to him so he meet them. Yet he likes my ex regardless of him cheating on me. I don't get them why do they say one thing yet say another thing. Now my ex's girlfriend knows nothing about all these betrayals and my sister and her husband are just acting as like my ex is the best guy. What the hell is going on?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow, family huh? Those people are idiots for blaming you for that. As you said, he cheated, there should be no reason to be with him after that. I don't know, but maybe confide in the new girlfriend, but that is a risk, as she may take it to the others to make you look bad. Hard to say.

    What may be going on is that they look past the fact he cheated on you, cause of how he is. Charismatic people have a tendency to make people look past infractions and make another look bad. As far as how she sees what happened with your parents, that's probably just ignorance and denial. In fact it sounds like all around ignorance between all of the parties involved, save you. You seem to be the smart one.

    Personally, I would just drop the negative out of your life. If that means cutting ties with that part of your family, then by all means do it. A person doesn't need that kind of stress in their life. Removing the negative will help out. That or have a serious discussion with your sister about it, and if she refuses to hear you out then she's just being stubborn and mean.

    • Actually the day of my sister's birthday my brother in law invited him and his girlfriend. She said Hi and I said Hi as well. I broke the ice and told her to sit down and I talked with her a little. Than once she got a drink he told her for them to go outside. He knows the way I am and he knows I'm a girl's girl or for anyone that is being treated wrong. I don't talk to him anymore yet he still tries to say Hi and when he does I ignore him the whole time he's here.

    • Show All
    • He's scared that I will say something plus they moved in together. Before I broke up with him he had told me he wanted us to move in together. I'm so glad I didn't get pregnant by him or ever moved in with him. It would've been money wasted. I'm over him but can't believe his audacity to feel that he can cheat on me and still act as if he treated me good.

    • Sorry I repeated on those lines.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well I guess your sister is in denial. She thinks it was your mother's fault if your dad left her. So she's applying the same way of thinking to you.
    I don't know how touchy you've been during that relationship. Maybe you were too insecure.
    Her husband probably doesn't care or maybe likes your ex.

    Anyway, move on. And don't even try to talk about relationships with your sister, it's obvious she doesn't care.

    • I wasn't insecure at all he had freedom to come and go anytime he wanted. He could go out anywhere without having me hounding him around. I didn't call him when he was out with his boys. He knew that I had utter trust in him. He screwed me over though. He wanted marriage and children his mom even came to my house asking me when I was wanting to get pregnant.

  • Seeking relationship advice from family is always tricky. You and your sister may be able to agree on everything else in the world but this ex of yours hurt and betrayed YOU. We all like to hope that our siblings always have our back but until it happens to them they may choose not to see that side of him. I understand it can b frustrating and hopefully you can find someone who can work through your feelings so you can get some closure.

    • Not only that but I also have my mom telling me that all men cheat.

    • Your mom says that out of anger and hurt for what happened to her. Which is fine but just a bad way of thinking, in my opinion of course.

    • Yes I understand that now. It is very true and it's not a good way of thinking for me. I have not accepted any of that and know there are men that don't do that.

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