Is dating an average-unattractive guy the only of not getting cheated on?

I've never been in a relationship before but have been dating this rather 5-6 in looks guy (this isn't just me saying but other noticed this too, even my male cousin) for several weeks now and well he does wear braces, is slightly overweighted and is bookish.

I can tell he doesn't seem like the type that has ever gone to a party before. But OK that's not important. Though we do click on everything else, I'm not too much physically attracted to him but I think this will come in time I guess. I'm scared of leaving this guy and later on getting cheated on, mistreated, etc.

The reason is because several of my female family members have been cheated on several times. My uncle had a long time affair and it devastated the whole family. Apart from that, many men nowaday sleep around like crazy if a pretty girl were to come up to them. For sure they would take that chance.

So yes, I will continue dating that guy. If I get into a relationship with him, does this mean it's very unlikely I'll get cheated on. Protecting myself from players, getting my heart stomped and experiencing what I've been seeing in my surroundings is what comes in my mind first.
Updates:
Two of my female friends already noticed I'm going out of what I can get. They have said I get better and not to continue dating him if I'm too physically attracted to him but I don't know. I don't want to get played with nor ever cheated on nor have guys going only after my looks. Overall, I don't have too much hope for many men in this generation and I'm scared of getting hurt.


Can someone develop a relationship and fall in love if you're not initially attracted to them? Once in a while, there is certain silence on the date and at times it's me initiating the conversation. Yes, maybe that's the only hope for me. I purposely go after average-unattractive that don't talk too much.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There are good looking guys a plenty that are "one women" only guys but the thing is, they can be tough to find. If a guy looks good, he may want to enjoy a variety of women before settling down is all and there's nothing wrong with that. This would be a lot easier for men if more women had mature viewpoints on sex though. Too many women have the "I'm a whore if I have uncommitted sex" attitude which is why a lot of guys go on the dates, have sex, then dump the girl rather than coming out in the open and saying "Let's have sex" because all that will do most of the time is cause the guy to get called a pig and so on. It's not wrong that women choose to only have sex in a relationship, it's all the childish outbursts and ridicule they try to give just because they wanted a guy to date them and found out he just wanted to hook up.

    Also keep in mind that even though the looks may not be there, he could have good sexual techniques. Like a sub-par looking guy who is good at oral sex for many women would easily be chosen over the good looking guy who skips foreplay, sticks it in, and calls it a night.

    While looks aren't everything, they matter for many and if you feel you can't develop an attraction to him physically and it is interfering with your dating then sure, end it after trying. Ignore your friends' opinions though because honestly, it's your relationship, not theirs. If you don't want to get cheated on, just avoid the good looking guys who are cocky. Those are the ones who will cheat on you. Heavily look into the differences between cocky and confidence. If the guy's all like "I can get any woman I want," prove him wrong and tell him he can't have you because that's the guy who will cheat on you.

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    • To be honest, when we kissed not so long ago and it being my first kiss, it did seemed like it was his first time at that too. Plus, when introducing him to my family he barely talk, as if not used to be seeing many people nor being in a social gathering. I like the other things though so I'll just continue dating him. I have a feeling he's a virgin too but so I'm I.

    • I know there might be outgoing and good looking guys that don't cheat but I have a feeling that's only in the minority. If I start going after the good-looking ones, wouldn't there be more risks of getting cheated on?

    • Yea stick with him for a while at least give him a chance.

      It's really a case by case basis. I get called really good looking and I have never cheated myself. However, I do know of some cocky guys who I can see cheating. But at the same time, I have seen good looking guys who are very committed too. The attitude is really how you spot them.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Can someone develop a relationship and fall in love if you're not initially attracted to them?

    Yes ! Helen Fisher who is well respected scientist in the area of romantic love say so .

    She tackles that issue in this video ( start watching from 4:05)

    https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=7AaTminwHF4

    I hope it helps you .

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  • well I believe you scared he might cheat on you? If you guys like eachother then this shouldn't be an issue. If you trust eachother, then this shouldn't be an issue. Since it is an issue in your mind (or your worried about it atleast) then maybe you have self esteem issues?

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  • No, you need physical attraction to develop a relationship. Now over time the physical attraction may wane (especially in long married couple) but you must rely on the deeper love and relationship built on trust. I would not project your image of all men as dishonest based on some select experiences you have seen.

    Unfortunately you have been exposed to men with no honor. I'd recommend looking for someone that you are attracted to that has a high moral code. Don't settle. You will regret it later.

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  • No, but guys with a lot to offer are going to expect a lot in return to feel like the relationship is balanced. Can you realistic meet some guy's needs that is as great as your expectations... That is are you actually bringing everything you want him to bring to the relationship? If you're not, then he'll likely eventually be unhappy with you and look elsewhere. That doesn't mean he'll cheat, but you might get dumped and tossed away like a price of garbage.

    As far as the cheating thing, average looking cheaters can and still will cheat. They may not have as many great looking women lining up for them, but they can probably find some promiscuous women that want to get naked or pay a hooker if they are set on cheating.

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    • Well yes, I do read book and try to educate myself more since he's very smart. But at times, I've noticed that when his main topics are over, I have to start a conversation. I'm trying my best to break him out of his shell. Have already presented him to my family but he would barely talk and seemed very shy. I did most of the talking when introducing him. I have a feeling that I might even be his first date. When he kissed not so long ago, it seemed like it was his first time kissing.

    • To me, in a way he represents my shield and it's like I feel save from getting hurt emotionally and burned like my family members (all of their men were nice looking and outgoing; some of them had crazy promiscuous past). I guess I'm into snatching him while I can. Otherwise I'm going to get older and I feel by then it'll be too late.

  • You know... there ARE actually good looking guys out there that aren't complete douche bags.

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What Girls Said 3

  • While getting cheated on sucks big time, don't lower your standards because of it, if the physical attraction isn't there then it honestly never will be

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    • I don't know. What if I don't find a guy like that again: Smart, non-promiscuous (and he's probably a virgin too), good listener and career-minded. It's like he has it all except for his shyness and looks.

    • I get what you're saying, believe me my sister and I were talking about this recently, While its smart to think about your future with someone, you also want to look for someone who can meet not only your (for lack of a better word) security needs, but someone who can meet your, social, mental and physical needs, I think for now he's OK, but eventually you're going to want more than he can give you. listen to the people around you and you can never go wrong.

  • Nope. Pretty much everyone rated my ex a 4 (except me, obviously), and he still cheated on me. If you're not physically attracted to the guy, and you're only dating him because you're worried someone else will cheat on you if you give them a chance, then you're settling and eventually you'll be unhappy in the relationship. I got my heartbroken, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to settle. Yes, it is scary giving your heart to someone, and knowing that they could break it, but imagine how happy you'll be with someone you 100% connect with? Date him if you truly like him, but if he's only a safety net, then you'll only be hurting yourself.

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  • Yep. Hot people have more options.

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