Scenario: youve been in a comitted relationship for years and live together, they cheated on you when they were drunk and you walked in on the act. This happened during a time when you have been suffering from a lack of libido so there was not frequent sex within your relationship.
If you knew that they had never cheated before and you believed that it would never happen again and they promised to seek counceling, could you give them another chance to make things right?
Id really appreciate some personal stories from people who have cheated or been cheated on and tried to make it work after.
- Yes, it could still workVote A
- No, your done foreverVote B
Most Helpful Guy
never had cheated on a girlfriend, NEVER, and I do not really see an scenario in which it happens, for instance, I do not drink ever, and I guess if I was kind of abandoned to myself by my girl I still have my hand, and if it was not enough, I would break up with her and THEN find someone new.
but that said, I do believe in second chances, first let me say, many people will say "once a cheater always a cheater", and that is stupid, first, not because someone HAS NOT DONE IT YET, it means he/she never will, but it makes it reasonable to believe that, since they have been faithful, they will remain faithful, but saying "she cheated once, so she is doomed to repeated always in every relationship, all her life" is not reasonable, and I would say to those who are adamant on that phrase, think about the mistakes you DO commit, because you DO have your flaws, and then tell to yourself honestly, would you live by the same standard you judge?perhaps you, like me, con NOT picture yourself cheating, so for you is EASY to say "yeah, if I were to cheat ONCE I would always be a cheater, no excuses, once a cheater I will always be a cheater", but again, saying that would be easy, that is why I ask you to think about the mistakes you ACTUALLY commit or have commited, like, seriously, if "once a cheater always a cheater", than, if you make ONCE an scene then "once a drama queen always a drama queen"? if you find yourself saying a pair of lies (however white) then "once a liar always a liar"? <--- and this one is tricky because, as House MD accurately said "everybody lies".
again, I believe in second chances, and, even though I KNOW I will not cheat, I KNOW I will make other mistakes, perhaps some BIG ones, and I would hope for forgiveness, so "do unto others", and I give other a second chance.
HOWEVER, alcohol is a POOR excuse, and yeah, I do not like excuses, EVER, however good, I much rather the girl saying (and it actually happened once) "I screwed up, I am deepely sorry, won't try to justify myself, I f!cked it up and I feel like cr@p, please give me a second chance"
kind of has happend twice, kind of, once this girlfriend of mine that kept this guy friendzoned, and I WARNED her that he was just "waiting for a window" and she called me jealous or immature, until he made his moved, she rejected him but he did kiss her, she said "you were right, sorry, but it was his fault..." and I cut her short, "you let the window open, it was your fault too", she tried to justify it but again, I take no excuses, she played with fire and got burned, and she had to aknowledge she made a MISTAKE, and she did, the other girl I mentioned DID cheat, again, nothing justifies it, she accepted the fault, and both of them I said "you make it up to me, and win my trust again", and they understood they will get their second chance but will have to REALLY work for it.and it worked nicely, no new cheating, they knew how hard it was to win me over again, won't risk it again.0