Could you give someone a second chance after they cheated on you?

Scenario: youve been in a comitted relationship for years and live together, they cheated on you when they were drunk and you walked in on the act. This happened during a time when you have been suffering from a lack of libido so there was not frequent sex within your relationship.

If you knew that they had never cheated before and you believed that it would never happen again and they promised to seek counceling, could you give them another chance to make things right?

Id really appreciate some personal stories from people who have cheated or been cheated on and tried to make it work after.

  • Yes, it could still work
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  • No, your done forever
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • never had cheated on a girlfriend, NEVER, and I do not really see an scenario in which it happens, for instance, I do not drink ever, and I guess if I was kind of abandoned to myself by my girl I still have my hand, and if it was not enough, I would break up with her and THEN find someone new.

    but that said, I do believe in second chances, first let me say, many people will say "once a cheater always a cheater", and that is stupid, first, not because someone HAS NOT DONE IT YET, it means he/she never will, but it makes it reasonable to believe that, since they have been faithful, they will remain faithful, but saying "she cheated once, so she is doomed to repeated always in every relationship, all her life" is not reasonable, and I would say to those who are adamant on that phrase, think about the mistakes you DO commit, because you DO have your flaws, and then tell to yourself honestly, would you live by the same standard you judge?perhaps you, like me, con NOT picture yourself cheating, so for you is EASY to say "yeah, if I were to cheat ONCE I would always be a cheater, no excuses, once a cheater I will always be a cheater", but again, saying that would be easy, that is why I ask you to think about the mistakes you ACTUALLY commit or have commited, like, seriously, if "once a cheater always a cheater", than, if you make ONCE an scene then "once a drama queen always a drama queen"? if you find yourself saying a pair of lies (however white) then "once a liar always a liar"? <--- and this one is tricky because, as House MD accurately said "everybody lies".

    again, I believe in second chances, and, even though I KNOW I will not cheat, I KNOW I will make other mistakes, perhaps some BIG ones, and I would hope for forgiveness, so "do unto others", and I give other a second chance.

    HOWEVER, alcohol is a POOR excuse, and yeah, I do not like excuses, EVER, however good, I much rather the girl saying (and it actually happened once) "I screwed up, I am deepely sorry, won't try to justify myself, I f!cked it up and I feel like cr@p, please give me a second chance"

    kind of has happend twice, kind of, once this girlfriend of mine that kept this guy friendzoned, and I WARNED her that he was just "waiting for a window" and she called me jealous or immature, until he made his moved, she rejected him but he did kiss her, she said "you were right, sorry, but it was his fault..." and I cut her short, "you let the window open, it was your fault too", she tried to justify it but again, I take no excuses, she played with fire and got burned, and she had to aknowledge she made a MISTAKE, and she did, the other girl I mentioned DID cheat, again, nothing justifies it, she accepted the fault, and both of them I said "you make it up to me, and win my trust again", and they understood they will get their second chance but will have to REALLY work for it.and it worked nicely, no new cheating, they knew how hard it was to win me over again, won't risk it again.

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    • Thanks for sharing, I really appreciate it.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It just seems like these are all "excuses" your making up aka your "libodo" and him being "intoxicated" just to keep someone.

    Whether he was drunk of not, rofl, doesn't mean he didn't know what he was doing. ESPECIALLY if he was ontop. ROFL. Sorry missy. And just because you "weren't" in the mood to bang over one month, or w.e it was, doesn't mean he has the right to do that.

    If he actually loved you, regardless or not if you guys were having sexual intercourse with one another or not, he wouldn't have done that.

    I do not believe coucelling can save this relationship either. Nor will your excuses cover up the hurt he has caused you.

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  • Nerp.

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  • "Make your mistakes, but no second chances."

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  • Not a chance in hell. Once someone else is involved no matter what the case is, she's damaged goods beyond repair. If I walked in on the act, it wouldn't matter anyway cause by the time I got out of jail I'd be too old to get it up anyway to worry about any RL.

    But there are wimps out there who would take a girl back no matter how much she disrespects them.

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  • i'm sort of in a situation like that. I'm trying very hard. It's really really difficult

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    • Did you cheat or where you cheated on?

    • I was cheated on, more or less

What Girls Said 9

  • Sometimes in other cases where there are kids involved, even those women who stay where they were cheated on is just hard to take. If there's no big reason to expose yourself to possibly more hurt/harm than good, than once a cheater always a cheater.

    I say this because peace of mind matters in life, and trust is HUGE when it comes to love. Once that trust is violated in this way, honestly, it's never gonna be the same. However, that said, you have to do what YOU think is right.

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  • i don't know why , but I ve always believed in second chances . I mean you love him ? how can you just don't forgive him for one mistake ? , if you are sure he won't do it again , then why not give him another chance ? always remember that sometimes REGRET hurts more than anything else. and to be fare enough , if it happened AGAIN , then yes dump him forever , but not from the first mistake , maybe that bitch hell of seduced him ?! , he is a man by the end , and they can be easily seduced no matter how much he loves you .they can make mistakes

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  • I don't want to ever walk into a scenario like THAT.

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  • no I don't think I could just let it slide like that

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  • Never

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