How do I get to her to accept me back?

I love a very special wonderful lady. We were together for about 5 yrs.(engaged). She broke it off about one year into our relationship. We got back together and she tried to break it off a couple of other times but I talked her out of it. About 5 months ago I broke it off and moved out (blended family issues that I didn't handle well). During the time we were separated I slept with someone. She dated and such but didn't sleep with anyone. She loves me but currently can't get passed what I did. I love her and want to marry and send the rest of my life with her. I need help, suggestions, ideas, and advice. Thanks

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Most Helpful Girl

  • That sounds like my relationship. Even though me and my boyfriend have only been dating for 2 years, I have tried to break up a few times. It was never anything he did; it was always because I was scared of my feelings for him since they were so intense. If he broke up with me and slept with someone else, I would find that extremely hard to handle and I don't know if I could take him back. (note that we are both virgins so him sleeping with someone else would be extreme). I could understand if he ended the relationship because of family issues. If he wanted to get back together once he was in the right mind and he was handling things well enough to rekindle our relationship, I would say yes. But since he would be breaking up with me for something other than relationship problems, and I still believed that he loved me just the same, it would crush me to hear that he had sex with someone else ( regardless of our virgin status). I thought he loved me. Why would he sleep with someone else if he said that he wanted to marry me? If we were separated for long enough like you said, I would consider dating other people too. I wouldn't want to sit around collecting dust waiting for him to come back to me. Dating would only be for fun and for new experiences since my heart really lies with the guy who I promised to marry. I would never, under any circumstance, sleep with any of those men. I don't know your girlfriend but from a fellow female, it would be difficult to give my body to someone else after a serious five year relationship. I'd be confused and hurt and missing you. I'd be wondering why you would do all of this to me and then claim to want to marry me again. You should listen to your girls thoughts and feelings. She is probably very hurt and if she agrees to get back together, it may take time. Be patient and promise you won't do what you did ever again. Marriage is for better or for worse. It would make me reconsider marrying someone who wasn't willing to work things out during hard times in a relationship. We all make mistakes but it sounds like you're remorseful and wanting a life with her. If you're both meant to be together, I hope she can forgive you and I hope you can learn from this and never repeat it. Good luck.

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What Girls Said 4

  • You may her back but you'll have to be patient and show her that she can trust you. Trust and respect are both compromised in something like this. It sounds like there was broken trust with the "blended family issues" and it caused some problems that led to previous break ups. Did you ask to work things out or just break it off? Points for you if you tried to work things out. If you didn't then she probably lost trust in the way you handled problems. Males and females find security in how relationship problems get handled because it's a tell tale sign of how valuable or disposable the bond is or a good sign of how it's going to be treated.

    How did your girlfriend found out about you sleeping with another woman? Did you tell her or did someone else tell her? If you told her from the beginning she would still be mega hurt but respect the painful honesty. It may be a positive (if that's possible in situations like this) step toward mending the trust. You are going to have to show her how she can learn to trust you again, if she trusted you at all.

    You sound like you really love her and feel bad for breaking her trust. She has to be so hurt and scared if she had the same feelings you seem to have for her. I have to say though, that you sound like the kind of guy my folks warned me to stay away from. Just being honest.

    Maybe you should decide if she's the kind of person you want to spend your life with and do whatever it takes if she is. Or forget about fixing things (sounds like that may have been okay when you broke up) go look for someone else and don't make the same mistake again.

    Good Luck

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  • If after all this time you still can't resolve your issues together, you're doomed. I think you both should break free of this relationship that is clearly not moving forward. There are other people who will be more compatible with you.

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  • You guys aren't meant to be

    Accept that and move on

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  • Get some counselling, or accept it and move on.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You guys don't sound compatible at all and like you only want each other so that you're not alone, it'd actually be dumb to get back together.

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