What to do when things are going really great, then not?

i've been talking to this guy for nearly a month and I thought things were going great. he invited me to a new years party and he was my first new years kiss. his friends likes me. we workout together. he can't keep his hands off me. anyway, he has a house on campus and I live far away from campus so I decided to stay with him for a couple of days till I could go back to living in my dorm.

bad idea. he just technically "broke up" with me and his reasons where:

1.he saw sides of me that he didn't like.

2.he said he needed his space and wasn't looking for a roommate. in his own words "i don't even have space to wack off"

3.he said I was selfish because he made breakfast for me one morning and later that night I didn't give him a back rub. I didn't connect these two things together until he said it. it was a WTF moment for me

4.he said I wasn't meeting his sexual needs (im a virgin).

5.he also said he doesn't see this working out but maybe after some time.

6. he said I always had to get my way and I was dramatic. for example if he didn't cuddle with me at night I would pout because he can't sleep when he is cuddled next to someone

7. he said didn't want to lead me on and he had to let me know how he felt. like he was doing me a favor

he said all these things out of the blue and it caught me off guard.

WHY DON'T GUYS POINT OUT PROBLEMS WHEN THEY HAPPEN AND NOT JUST LAY IT ALL ON YOU AT ONCE?

all I said was I'm sorry if you feel this way and go ahead and do what you need to do.

i don't know if l shouldn't have stayed with him for 4 days but that was literally my only option. was I wrong for this?

so now he just text me to see if I had a phone charger (I use his Because mines broken). and I said no and he said I could stop by his house tomorrow to use his "so I'm not phoneless".

why would he technically break up with me and then try to see me again or am I reading too much into the charger thing? should I accept his charger offer?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well he's clearly bad at communication, so I wouldn't be surprised if there really was more to his offer. He seems to have unrealistic expectations that you can read his mind or something (which is something men and women both do btw).

    You can accept his offer if you like (if only for the sake of being straightforward), but it's quite possible that he'll get mad if you just take it and leave again (even if you express how thankful you are). If he does though you can just hand him back his charger and tell him you don't play games like that.

    Just don't take any of his crap if he expects you to know what the 'hidden meaning' is behind what he says and does (like with the backrub thing). If he doesn't communicate clearly then that's his problem. It's immature and it's never really going to work on any girl, especially not in the early stages of a relationship. You can't be mad when you're not understood if you're not making a proper effort to be understood.

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    • i actually just got a text from him now reminding me that I could use the charger anytime before 7. what's his deal?

    • Well I do think he is genuinely trying to be nice about the charger thing, even if there is an ulterior motive to it. He probably misses you and is using being nice in this way as an excuse (more to himself than to you) to see you.

      He's just immature; and you need to decide for yourself whether he's too immature to deal with or not. :P

    • probably. I asked if he was gonna be home just to see if he was using that as excuse to see me. he's not gonna be home so I guess he is just being nice

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