How do you move on from losing your soul mate?

I got dumped via email, which is just shocking and cowardly and just shows one of the disadvantages of technology during relationships. I never got the closure or ability to hear it face to face, and for that I felt robbed. I begged and pleaded with them and even god, and convinced myself that we might get back together one day. We volunteer together occasionally and I got ignored and treated like I was not even there. So I decided to just get on with my life and try and be the best possible version of myself that I could be. When we saw each other I’d act fine, and there it was our first proper conversation and I once again acted fine. I got in touch to exchange some of our stuff and acted fine. When I saw him on a night out at Christmas I acted fine and said we could be friends again, despite shedding a few tears out of drunkenness. And there it was, after two months of no contact and not speaking him text my house phone apologizing about making me upset and sorry if he’d been rude when we’d spoke and that he missed me. I made a massive mistake here. I thought this was him trying to come back or just being a better person and I misinterpreted it completely wrong. After months of not having his number I decided to text him. I said I hoped that he was okay and that I missed him too and to have a happy new years. He text back apologizing if he was ever horrible to me. And I thought to myself? If? So I replied with an “I accept your apology”. Again, he text me at midnight to wish me a happy new years. However, in my drunken state I text him saying I missed him and if he wanted to meet up and before you know it I was at his doing the deed. I woke up on New Years’ day confused about where I was and how I got there. We couldn’t spend two minutes together normal before the deed was done again. The worst part was that he had to go to work and I didn’t just want to leave in the morning without having discussed anything. So, stupidly I waited at his house as he took the keys as I’d lost my phone.

It was bleak spending time in the place that I’d spent so long being a welcomed loved girlfriend and here I was just an unwanted one night stand. When he came back we just spoke about stuff, and it just felt like when we were together during the last few months of our relationship which was strange. Him being inconsiderate, his house a mess and just trying his best not to really listethe deed was done again and then I left. We both said we couldn’t be in each other’s lives if the other was in a relationship and again I acted fine. So after feeling like crap for a few days afterward and the world’s biggest idiot I decided to text him to tell him how I really felt. I said . I said we couldn’t be friends again and that I couldn’t be there for him again. His reply was that this was all in the past, he understood and to please stop contacting him again, as it wasn’t fun anymore. My reply let it all out. I said how he’d treated me like crap and he didn’t deserve me at all and that and I let him walk all over me and no it wasn’t okay and that I’d just wanted to express that! Goodbye. And it felt really good.

Updates:
Thank you I really appreciate everyones comments :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It is a difficult thing to do and coming from someone who actually dumped their ex of email I am sorry for the way you feel. I expect my ex also felt cheated, but to be honest we had already had a bit of a deep discussion about our future beforehand in which he sounded like he was breaking up with me. I presume he has never forgiven me for dumping him over email because I never saw or spoke to him again. I can only presume I affected him more with this because when I was with him he was still in touch with his last ex who actually cheated on him.

    Trust me I was riddled with the guilt of it all for about 6 months afterward, but then I have to remember the reasons I broke up with him. He didn't treat me well at all and in fact mistreated me a lot. In the end I had to email him, although I know it was wrong, because he was not an approachable person, got angry and had the ability to make out I was wrong over everything. Just trying to give you an alternative perspective.

    I think what your ex did was feel guilty about the way he broke up with you and that is why he began apologising to you, it didn't necessarily mean he wanted to return to the relationship. He should have left you well alone and not used you for sex, when he knew you were vulnerable.

    I'm not saying it is going to be easy, but you will get over him eventually.

    1st step. Cut ALL contact, that means phone numbers, Facebook, twitter. You won't want to but it will help you heal quicker trust me.

    2nd step. Go and look after yourself, do everything you have ever wanted to do, that a relationship stopped you from doing.

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What Guys Said 5

  • You dealt with this really well, and as for him being your soul mate, he was just a fake, because soul mates would never of made you feel like that nor would they let you walk away, so feel good about getting rid of the fake, because now you can get the real deal,x

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  • I'd stay a friend (depending who, long friend yes. Not so long, not so much)

    I'd hang out with my friends to help me brush it off. It always work, because having some laughs and getting to be your old self again is really what I like. Looking in the negatives is never my thing (only when I keep thinking for too long).

    Just be free to do anything, I recommend playing a classic game. You don't have one or you don't play it? I say order it from amazon! Optimistism is the key!

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  • Nothing like a proper closure..sorry you had to go through so much just to unload on him like that.

    You should have unloaded by text, right away, when you got his break-up text.

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  • You obviously didn't lose your soulmate, just your hole-mate. You should try and put it behind you and move on.

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    • ^This Haha! so true. Yea he's not your soul mate, you just think he was because you were sprung.

  • Geeezz.. what a wall of text.

    But he clearly isn't your soul mates - soul mates stick together until the end (of their lives, whom evers end comes first)

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What Girls Said 3

  • I am going through the same thing! N he told me I was his soulmate but he dumped me after stupid fight and dumped me via FB txt no closure not questions were answered just left me like that. N the worst part is I'm the only girl in our group that is single so I have to see everyone texting calling hugging their bfs I ve been sad a lot because they made me think bout my ex and the thing I used to do for him. I'm trying to get out of this sad ugly cycle too

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  • go shopping with friends, eat your fav ice-cream, have a sleepover, meet new people, watch fav movies etc and try to move on - just think it wasn't meant to be

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  • Why is soul mate in the title of this question? That title obviously doesn't apply to this question. You broke up, you slept with him after because you still have feelings . . . yep, sucks doesn't it? Forget about him, he doesn't care any more.

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