He wants me to move with him to another country?

I have been dating this guy for almost 7 months, an yd everything has been a whirlwind. I moved in with him a month and a half ago and everything was going great until he lost his job. He became depressed and moody, the slightest thing would make him angry and about 4 nights ago he sat down and told me he was moving back to the island he left a long time ago and he wants me to go with him. It's halfway across the world, and we would be surrounded by his family but I would have no one, and this is going to be the biggest decision I've ever made. I mean there are some great possibilities but I wouldn't get to see my family for years if I went. But he said he doesn't want to go without me, and I'm torn between going and staying.

So my question is what should I do? What are the pros and cons of moving? And I know that if I went and things went sour I would be stuck there for a long time.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Considering how big this decision is, I don't think you should trust our recommendations! Your request for pros and cons to think about seems reasonable. Do you know much about the culture that he came from? People tend to revert to their home culture and behavior patterns when they return home to live. For example, if that culture is especially chauvinistic, there's a good chance he will become more that way. So you need to prepare for possible changes in his behavior. If you nothing about his family you have no way to know if you will find a support system or a hornet's nest there. Does he have a job waiting for him there? If not, you might be moving in with his family and that might mean not sleeping with him among many other things.

    On the other side, it sounds like a decision to not go with him might end the relationship. One thing I would advise if you do decide to go is to have an escape plan. That means buying a return ticket that's good anytime. That way you wouldn't get stuck there. If things work out, hopefully you could use it to fly back and visit your family so you don't have to wait for years.

  • Don't ask US for the pros and cons, do that list yourself. We can't know everything about you, your situation and what's important to you. It's a hard decision, but this decision to move seems to be more one sided than anything else...and that ain't fair.


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