Positive steps in reconciling with my ex. Help needed from the boys!

I’ve posted a f times but could really do with some advice now that we have had a “chat” so I basically did a month of limited contact which worked and he was chasing me. We finally met up and talked.. We had a great time but after a few drinks we ended up sleeping together. I don’t think if we would have properly talked if we had just met up for a coffee for an hour. My ex is very closed and struggles to communicate sometimes in how he is feeling. When he has had a drink he is a lot more open. The following day I said that I regretted it. And he said that we shouldn’t regret it, as those feelings just won’t go. We talked much better in the morning and it was more relaxed. He said that we both needed to get ourselves sorted and one we were we could talk again about getting back together.

He said that he was not interested in other women and had said that he was really focused on getting himself sorted. I said that I wasn’t interested in anyone else, but I had been getting harassed by someone. Which he really wanted to know more about and has made a joke about it over txt, when I said I was going out. I said that the guy was weird and wasn’t interested. Sorting myself out is my priority.

Even though I slept with him, I do and not regret it. We did have suh a positive time after all, he even commented on it. He has since txt me everyday and has arranged to do an event with me in spring.

He has now brought up positive memories by sending a picture of a love letter. . I asked if he had just found it and that we had fun at the place. And asked if he still had a book I had made him. I got a cool response of yeah I’ve still got it and it was nice. I haven’t responded back as it sounds he doesn’t want to make conversation. I don’t want to be on the becon call, when he txt’s. but then if I leave it I get short responses.

The only thing I can do is now get on with my time for me again.. But actually do it for real, with feeling. But I do find it confusing with this texting I’m worried I will be friend zoned, and If I sleep with him again I will defo be in the FWB. How do I Handel this. NC would hurt him I think now as we agreed on speaking again in a month but I also want my space. HELP

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What Guys Said 1

  • You can't think clearly at the moment. You need a few days off from him.

    Go no contact for a few days up to two weeks (chose what's needed, you know yourself), but tell him you're going no contact for a while.

    He will think about that, think on his side as well, and he won't have to chase, and you won't be overhelmed by his chasing.

    And you will be better off if you know that you have a while, during which you don't need to decide yourself.

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    • I agree, I do just want time by myself for a while. How would I construct this into a txt form that was positive without hurting feelings?

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    • Ok I had break through. I said that I was trying to get on with things.. He txt back saying that I didn't need to be pestered or reminded of my past and that I was moving on.

      I said that I thought we could send emails like the old days if not letter and that I had a lot to sort out. He said that the door was never closed and that I need to use the time to be the girl he fell for and that he was always thinking of me. S now the texts can stop and I will contact him via email at the end of week

    • Good thing. Send each other an email every now and then, until you guys are ready to meet up again. Best wishes for you, I hope you'll end up being happy together soon :)

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