Just found out my Girlfriend has cheated on me. help?

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for just over three months now. We are both in love with each other and spend a lot of time together. I'm 21 and she is 19 and we are neighbors in college.



When we first met she had a boyfriend for a year and she was seeing me for about a week before she broke up with him. She always told me that she cheated on him so I had my doubts about her but to be honest I also cheated on my ex countless times so I wasn't one to judge.

Ok so just leading up to Christmas, her ex sends me half naked photos of the two of them from a couple of nights before hand and she only told me when he sent me the photos. She tried to convince me that she didn't remember it and that he had drugged her and to be fair, the photos did look like she was completely out of it. So with a lot of convincing I forgave her and we moved on.

But now, I was on her Facebook account and found out that she did remember it and wasn't going to tell me about it but in her messages she felt really bad and said she was so drunk and regretted it. But then, it turns out that she has also kissed other men on nights out and has said nothing to me and said she doesn't feel bad about that.

She wants to meet my family for the first time in two days but there is no way of that happening now. I have kissed two other girls as well so I'm not so good either.

I do love this girl so I don't know what to do. My options are:

1) Just tell her iv read all the Facebook messages and know about everything and she her reaction, but this will probably lead to a break up

2) say nothing, continue loving her and hope she changes.

3) Just break up with her because I'm young and could find another girl

4) bring it up quietly and in a sly way so she doesn't know I have read her Facebook messages

5) Stay with her just for regular sex and just do my own thing on nights with other women.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Leave her. I'm not one to typically just say leave the person if they cheated. Because people make mistakes. But she cheated on you multiple times. She's cheated in past relationships. She isn't gonna change.

    Also, it's 3 months. If you were together 3 years and she made mistake(s) than I could understand possibly forgiving. But 3 months in and she's already doing the same things elsewhere.

    It's simpler than you think. You don't need to have a strategy, or explain yourself. She knows she deserves to be dumped. Ask yourself if this is the type of girl you want to introduce to your family.

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What Girls Said 12

  • 6) You both are not only young, but IMMATURE, and NOT ready for a real relationship, let alone a trusting, faithful one. Move on, date as friends or with benefits or no benefits, but stop hurting one another with all this nonsense. You are both just going round in circles and not getting anywhere. Plus you are making each other "old and gray' before your time, and need to start going out there and play the field.

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  • Look think of cheating as your brain screaming at you that you want out of the relationship. I think what she did was terrible plus she did it multiple times (yes kissing is still cheating) but even if you were crazy enough to forgive her, you're starting up too! If it were right you wouldn't risk losing her and vice versa

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  • 3, of course. You are both in the wrong, she doesn't respect you at all for doing that and you don't respect her either, for obvious reasons of her cheating, to go and kiss other girls. You two should both move on and be single. And you're in college! So just have fun and don't worry about relationship drama. Someday you will find someone that won't cheat.

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  • u are both unworthy of having a real relationship with all the stuff you both do behind each others back..this relationship is damaged.

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    • obviously this is the one person who knows both parties are dirty cheaters as bad as each other

  • I feel like you're not going to get anything good from this relationship. If you're just "staying with her for regular sex" 1. I don't think that's love, and 2. I don't know if she wants this but I don't think she does, so it's still a stupid idea. Also, she's not going to change, and YOU'RE not going to change. Bring it up any way you want, but in the end I feel like you should just break up. This isn't a good relationship, and honestly one of you is gonna have to end it sooner or later. It's over. If you loved each other you wouldn't both be cheating on each other. I think you're just staying with her because sometimes people are afraid of being single and ending relationships suck, but this isn't going to go anywhere in the long run and you know that. So I'd go with number 3 but obviously explain that you know what she's been doing and explain that you've done the same and there's nothing you can do now.

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  • You should tell her to be honest and tell you anything she's with held… if she comes up with nothing to say leave her. And also I understand right now you love her but you're also 21.. if she has cheated numerous times on you it's not worth the stress. I know for a fact if I had a boyfriend even at parties getting drunk would not get me to cheat on them, getting drugged is one thing but there's no way she gets drugged every time she goes to a party.

    If I was you I would just end it and let the pain heal. It's easier to do it now while you've dated for a few months and are 21 than to do it 15 years down the road after you've been married for 10 years and have kids together and have to divorce ect. the pattern keeps repeating it's apparent she can't respect the fact that you two are exclusive.

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  • Your relationship is a hot mess going no where, dump her and find someone better,

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  • 3. move on. this is a hot mess.

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  • Break up with her and no don't tell her you were on her Facebook. There is no relationship without trust and that is clearly something neither one of you have! And no don't bring her around your parents.

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  • Sorry for your pain. At least you had a girlfriend. Maybe it is best to find a different girl unless you are okay with an open relationship.

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  • spank her.

    1) NO

    2) MAYBE

    3) MAYBE

    4) NO WAY

    5) MAYBE

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  • I think you really need to be honest because you're never going to be able to progress with the relationship without it. I cheated on my boyfriend and I really wish I would have been straight forward because I was really close to losing the best thing in my life but now it's about 2 years later and we're good. I'm not saying it'll turn out good but there's no chance of a healthy relationship if you don't come forward and address her. You're always gonna worry and the fact that you're asking this question... I think you know that #1 is your best option. I'm really sorry you are going through this.

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What Guys Said 7

  • You're both too young for an exclusive relationship, so tell her everything and then break up, cleanly and without any accusations or blaming.

    Try to remember the good times you had together, and forget the rest.

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  • I would choose option 5. She has made it clear that commitment means nothing to her, enjoy her services while you search for a better partner.

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    • isn't anyone understanding that he has admitted to doing things too? they are both wrong

  • Sorry dude, we all go through it. :(

    But my advice...f*ck her. (not literally)

    Good luck dude! :D

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  • Im sorry mate dump her, cheating is one thing you don't forgive. Move on and find someone better.

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  • To be honest man, if she's doing this all In a 3 month span, this isn't the girl your going to marry and you shouldn't put up with that. If you want to find a relationship that makes you happy you need to stop cheating and be with someone who won't do it either. So I'd go with 4, and 5! Let her know that you know she lied, stay with her for regular sex if it keeps you happy- and don't mind her on nights with other women. It sounds scummy, but she's doing the same to you, why don't you return the favor?

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  • 5 - she can always be your fall-back hole.

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  • Good Lord, how is this even a question?

    Don't introduce her to your parents. Keep the power. Keep her around for sex while drifting away, and find a new girlfriend. Then, have an epic breakup where you let her know.

    And no offense, but you actually believed her after seeing half naked pics of them together? Are you daft?

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