However, As a 27 year old woman searching the world for a man to marry and love forever I don't understand why I would tie myself down to one man who hasn't put a ring on my finger. All he could be doing is wasting my time. What if I waste my child bearing years on a man that never marries me.. It's not that I want to cheat but don't you think I should continue to do whatever I want until marriage?
Example.. I'm dating a man now and we told each other that we wouldn't hook up with anyone else. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend yet but last night I hooked up with someone else. We didn't have sex but we made out in my bed, he took my shirt off, and we dry humped.. , Feels so high schoolish but I didn't want to have sex because I made that commitment to the other guy.
My thing is.. why shouldn't I go ahead and have sex with him if that's what I want to do. The other guy I'm dating isn't even my boyfriend...
At different ages I've felt completely different about things. Like, when I was younger I wouldn't have ever cheated on my boyfriend and I would expect the same from him. But now I don't know.. Why commit to one person and risk lost time ?
Most Helpful Girl
I think you need to sort out your feelings here:
Do you even like this first guy or are you just trying to stick it out because he's the first one who wanted to be exclusive?
Also, are you upset that he doesn't want to be your "official boyfriend" or something -- you sound upset or disappointed. "It's not that I want to cheat" you say, but then you deliberately break your agreement with him. It's confusing what is driving your actions here.
Also, why does having sex have to be part of the early stages of dating? You can date more than one person without having sex with any of them.
Also #3 ... if you think it's hard to keep a commitment when you have the hope of a relationship, consider it good practice for when you're in one and you're feeling upset, neglected, disconnected, etc ... and someone is around who wants to hook up. There will be times you have to use a lot of self control and dignity.
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