My ex's girlfriend is emailing me asking me to be mutual?

I was with my ex for 5 and a half years. He left me via text saying we were just friends and took her out on a date that night.

I was especially bitter because of the ages - at the time I was 20, he was 21, and she was 16.

They've been dating since March (since the day he left me) and they now live together. Less than a year on.

Anyway, she sent me a big email saying how she wants us to be all friendly and mutual and happy families. She ended by saying "I hope I hear from you, if you ignore this I will assume you do not want to be mutual"

So guys.

Do I reply?

I'm pretty annoyed because I have them blocked on Facebook, I haven't contacted them. They follow me to gigs and my friends glare at them to leave and I don't stop them. I'm not nasty to them, but my friends are adults they can do what they like.

My ex has clearly given her my personal email address which I'm not happy about and the words in her email, she clearly doesn't know the timescales involved and that he left me that day for her.

I feel like this is my chance to say my piece. But what do you guys think?
  • Email her back, but be nice.
    Vote A
  • Don't email her.
    Vote B
  • Email her back, but be honest/truthful/bit of a bitch/speak your mind
    Vote C
  • Other
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
I drafted this while bored at work. Each paragraph answers a question of hers so you get the gist of her email - basically it was let's be lovely to each other and it's not my fault what happened


Most Helpful Girl

  • Try not to keep your cool. I am under the impression that either your ex feels slightly guilty, wants to be forgiven (this might stress her out and she wants a reconciliation), or she is just simply enjoying rubbing their relationship in your face.

    Either way, I don't think you should write back to "fill her in".

    They don't deserve your time or forgiveness or to feel like you are at peace with them. So playing bff is obviously not an option.

    Anything aggressive or resentful sounds like you are still bitter and haven't moved on, which I also imagine is not what you want.

    These two aren't worth your time or energy. You were right to block them on fb. list their email as junk and go on living your life without them.

    If you do decide to write them first, keep it short, elegant and free of both old grudges and BS. Simply respond to her email and express how you feel about her proposition in a lady-like fashion:

    "Thanks for offering. I'm not interested." or "I'd rather not. Please do not contact me again"

    It is mature, clear, honest and respectful. Much more than I can say for either of them.

    Sorry. This sounds like an exceptionally unpleasant situation.

    Good luck!


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Just ignore. Live and let live.


What Girls Said 4

  • Let me say, as a girl, she is just "rubbing salt in the wound", bragging in her own right how she has your ex and you don't, and living with him now, and even enjoys parading him around like a show pony and vice verse deliberately in front of you and your friends. Don't give her the satisfaction of being rude if you should decide to answer her "eloquent email." She sent it on purpose, just to get a rise out of you, and knows perfectly well you won't interact with them. She sounds like a prude, and childish to boot. If it were me, I would act every bit the lady you seem to be, and email her this: "I thought we "were mutual" now have what was once "my leftovers"...enjoy, and thank you."

  • Isn't that illegal?

  • Time for this chick to grow up and realize that you don't like her, you won't and you shouldn't have to. That's not the way it works, being all friends with your ex and their new girlfriend who is significantly younger and illegal... Ignore the shit out of that email

  • ignore her


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