Please please please read and help! This would really, really help my friend, please try to help!

I have a friend who can't get over her ex boyfriend, even though he was the worst to her! I try telling her all this but she keeps missing him and answering him when he contacts her. I'm going to tell what he did, and can you reply what you would have done when these things happened to you, so she understands that no one other than her would accept this kind of treatment?

1. He forced her to stop talking to about all her guyfriends because he was jealous, even though they were -just- friends, and so she did, and then HE goes behind her back and fools around with another girl.

2. When she finds out that he cheated, he denies it and lies about even though she has solid evidence. When he finally admids it and she's upset, he responds with that it was his right; because she always drank too much at parties (without doing anything with anyone, just having a good time, drunk)

3. They break off the relationship for a while, and he comes to her with flower and promises to never do it again, so they sget back together. She is still pissed, but slowly getting over it. After only 2 weeks, he calls up the girl he made out with, and starts meeting and chatting with her. She accepts this, but she's angry.

4. He meets a girl in a club one night and calls her the next morning. She says it's not okay, and upsets her, and still he goes to meet her. Therefore, the mood between them starts getting bad again. He goes out on a club without her one night, and drags a girls out in a back alley and makes out with her and touches. Girlfriend finds out he did that, and they break up; but not because she wanted it, but because he does.

5. They keep being friendly, but one day she has had enough after he tells her right to her face all the things he has done with other girls. She breaks contact, he calls every hour every day, but she doesn't pick up. They don't speak for 3 weeks.

6. They meet at a club, where he starts crying and says he misses her. They start dating again, and he says he wants to be boyfriend and girlfriend again. She says it's too soon. One day when they meet at night she starts crying because she keeps picturing him with other girls. He backs off a little bit because of that, and the "relationship" becomes flaky. He starts dating this other girl behind her back, as well as her. He sees the other girl every day.

7. One night, the girlfriend starts crying because she knows about him and the other girl, and he breaks up with her AGAIN because she cries too much. He and this other girl becomes boyfriend and girlfriend.

8. While she is trying to get over him, for two months, he sends her a picture of him and the new girlfriend making out naked in the bed. She starts crying, keeps in the bed for another two months.

9. He knocks on her door crying HIS eyes out because it didn't work out between him and the new girl. She is right where she started.

SHE STILL WANTS HIM BACK. Please help her understand he is no good. :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • I am wondering if YOU should break up with HER. She sounds hopeless.

    That said. You're an amazingly good friend to hang on.

    Sometimes all you need is an explanation to kill the pain. He is poison for her. Absolute poison. She wants to be in love but she doesn't know what real love is. But really...the issue here is HIS issues. He is a tired sad excuse of a man that needs to keep his dick in his pants and mature a fair bit.

    You need to talk to him. You need to tell him that he is killing her on the inside. No promises. Time is the only thing that will heal that dumb fuxk and your friend doesn't need a baby on her hand...let alone HIS baby.

    You are an awesome friend.


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What Guys Said 4

  • I can't help or keep your friend from doing what she wants to do. She's addicted to the drama. She'll have to hit rock bottom on her own.

    If I were you, I'd pull back on the friendship because you don't want to be a part of it.

  • you cant. choose. Who you like. And how you feel.

  • For the record how old is your friend? man, I could never understand why people keep going back to such abusive and dysfunctional relationship. Does your not have any other guy? there's really not much you can do. You can just warn her that he'll do the same thing again and again... he'll always hurt her.

    If it helps, you can try to introduce him to a decent guy so she can let go of her attachment with that asshole.

  • Ive been in the relationship but the opposite, the chick did the same to me. I'm still not over her and its been a while. I don't know what to do. She always comes back saying how she messed up etc etc but the second stuff gets rough she takes off with another guy.

    One day your friend will realize he's no good for her. Its what I have finally realized. Its SO HARD cause I do love her but people should not give their love out freely to those who take advantage.


What Girls Said 2

  • Sounds to me like a lot of drama---and with a lot of "Drama Queens", sweetie...My head is whirling around just reading all of this-----I am surprised you even have yours still attached to your body! If you want my opinion, and you want to stay sane--and grow old, but NOT JUST YET----stay out of this Helter Skelter, and let your friend and her bad-ass boyfriend, "ex today, back together tomorrow", handle their own "Rocky Horror picture show". No matter how corrupt this clown is, or whatever he does(apparently he "can do no wrong" because she always forgives him and takes him back, either when he turns on the water works or when he is done with some booty babe), and this "Nightmare on Elm Street" just keeps going round and round until it reaches full circle, and NOTHING has been accomplished, nothing has changed---and he won't either. You can tell your fickle friend all you want about Romeo, or have anyone with even one ounce of common sense do the same, but she is too close to the situation, too emotionally involved with him, and as long as she continues to "wear her heart on her sleeve," he will continuously tear it off and break it into millions of tiny pieces." I realize it is heart rendering to watch her always going through the motions with a loser like him, but the only thing you can do is look the other way and don't let yourself become so emotionally involved in her life. You have one of your own, and need to lead it---and let the "forlorn lovebirds" tend to their own nest. I wish her good luck.

  • Oh for hells sake. Why do women and guys do this to themselves. He's clearly treating her like she's worth nothing to him because he doesn't give a sh** I could write a whole long treatise but I'd recommend you'd buy her a book. Cause seriously I could write 10 pages on each point. I know you've heard of it, he's just not that into you, not the movie which is Hollywood PC crap but the book. Read it if you think it will help give it to her. I gave it to my friend who had the same issues, lightbulb went on. It's about $10, hell if it doesn't help either of you ill even reimburse you

    • You're right, sweetie...a lot of THAT going around today...emotionally unstable...

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