Can I please get some advice?

need some advice. in June 2012 after not dating for quite some time I met ken at work. we started dating but soon after told me he doesn't want a relationship Because he had just gotten out of a 2 year engagemen with a coworker of ours. as time passed we kept on talking. in sept 2012 it was my bday and he took me to Orlando to celebrate. after people at work found out we were dating and everyone would gossip saying how he a player, flirt, cheater, I started listening to it and would always be questioning our relationship. he always told me he wanted to be with me and people just jealous. everytime I turned around I would see him talking to his ex so that didn't help. since I listened to the gossip one day I looked threw his phone, he caught me and broke up with me but within 2 weeks we got back together..we continued to see each other but never as official boyfriend/girlfriend and I'm surprised of all the things that he does for me. think in the last year and a half he has never not done something I've asked of him. I love the beach and he goes with me even though he hates going. last year we went on a couple of trips together,for Xmas I asked him for $1000 and he gave it to me this was after he had bought me a coach watch. my problem is that he is always telling me little every other day..he is always getting texts from people..the worst he has done is that over Xmas (he is jewish) he told me he was going to Orlando with a friend of his and 2 days into the trip called to tell me he was actually in seattle. since them I've really questioned what I'm doing with him. I love him and he tells me he loves me yet the lying is too much, lately while we spend 4-5 days together and have dinner a lot other than spending time together we aren't going out on dates besides dinner lately..he has cancelled the last 3,4 of them and then gives excuse when I get mad, I don't feel like he is cheating but I have asked opinions of 3 said I'm an idiot for thinking he even takes me seriously he just playing me, one thinks he does like me but the fact that we never became girlfriend/boyfriend again that's weird. I want to be with him but I don't want to be taken for a fool..guys please help


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What Guys Said 1

  • He seems to be going to a lot of time and trouble and money on your behalf if this is about playing games with you. That really doesn't make sense. I really couldn't say if he has or could cheat or not. The lying is certainly a problem, especially if those lies start to affect you directly and ultimately to hurt you. It's not clear to me if that has happened. It does seem that his lack of interest in real commitment is real and probably not going to change soon. You have to decide whether what you have now will work for you without any promises of growing closer. I wouldn't worry about what others are saying about him - I can see why he would have a reputation given his tendency to lie. But you do need to figure out if this is good enough for you as it is now.


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