Do you accept cheating?

My boyfriend is absolutely incredible, however I found out he was talking to other girls and has dating profiles. He said he stopped since it happened when we first started dating. he doesn't know that I know it hasn't. it's hard to breakup because he is so perfect, I really don't know what to do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Obviously it is hard to say without knowing the people involved, however, I guess there is a possibility of other perspectives.

    I know that I like erotica in general and so I would admit to having done the same thing. In my first marriage I did it after I discovered the whoile thing was a disaster (not before that actually...). I know that my ex had all kinds of issues that I was never going to be able to fix for her (espcially as she wouldn't even imnagine she had any !).

    So, I think I talked to other people (not actually through a dating site as such) through various foruyms and I would say it was to have some sort of a connection with another female. If I say that we almost immedately slept in separate beds then hopefully you might get the idea about what type of relationship we had...lol

    Fortunately, after that split up, I found THE most perfect woman and I absolutely love her. I have never cheated on her but we have developed a sort of one-sided polyamorous relationship, whereby she dates occasionally. She only does that because I am suportive of that and I think it has made us closer.

    The only reason I mention that is because now much of my erotica is catered for; all the imagination and sometimes visual aspects to it ...all things which I have found that I respond well to are peresent and my wife knows that she can trust me implicity. In the 10 years we have been together I have not been with anyone else and she knws that. She also knows that I like what we have and she has learned over the years that it does not affect us and our relationship adverself, it only enhances it.

    It is possible that your boyfriend has a need or desire for erotica and, if it is catered for, then you might find that it can be done in a more open and above-board way and also possibly on your terms. I respond well to things being on my wife's terms...and I have never been closer and more in love with a woman than I am today.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Of course not. In fact, I prefer to disassociate or distance myself from those whom fail to honor their word. Committing to the uncommitted, it turns out, is self-inflicted heartache.

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  • absolutely not.

    unless you want to be with someone who is going to be talking to other women and possibly (and probably) sleeping with them then no you shouldn't accept this behavior.

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  • hate to break it to you, he ain't perfect. If you can live with being someone's option, more power to you.

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  • It's still questionable but, talking to other girls isn't considered cheating. I'd still be annoyed as fuck if I were in your place though.

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  • Doesn't sound like a perfect guy. How did you find out and what is he talking to them about? Just having a dating profile isn't necessarily a precursor to cheating. Hell, I'm in a monogamous relationship and I'd never cheat, but I have a profile on a dating site for various other reasons. Snooping around to satisfy my curiosity being one of them. Things aren't always what they seem to beand if you really like him you should make sure you really know what it is rather than acting on what it seems to be.

    And if he's cheating or trying to cheat, just no. No. I would most definitely never accept that, it's a line you don't cross. Ever.

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  • You think he's incredible. Maybe he doesn't think you are, and keeps his options open ?

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    • I'm not condoning his actions. I'm just saying, maybe time to reconsider his "incredible" status.

What Girls Said 7

  • Sounds to me like he's keeping his options open in case something "better" comes along. If I were in your shoes, I would think he's not as into me as I was into him.

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  • No I 10000% disagree with cheating if I don't do it why should the person I'm with do it ? Like others have said in here you are ab option to him .. Don't be with that why should you be someones rebound ? I know how tough it can be ( broke up with fiancee after finding out he was cheating) I've had it tough I still think of him but how much I would be hating myself if I hadn't left . Move on and find someone who values you

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  • He's definitely cheating by keeping DATING profiles. So if it were me, I'd tell him I know. And tell him that if he doesn't want to be with me, he should break up with me now.

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  • No. I may understand it sometimes, but I won't accept it. Once they cheat, it's done. I wouldn't be able to trust them again.

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  • How perfect can he be if he's lying to you and talking to other girls?

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  • I will allow my boyfriend to have sex with other girls.. when I'm ready. I need to build a closer bond still

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  • I don't accept it.

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