Most Helpful Guy
Obviously it is hard to say without knowing the people involved, however, I guess there is a possibility of other perspectives.
I know that I like erotica in general and so I would admit to having done the same thing. In my first marriage I did it after I discovered the whoile thing was a disaster (not before that actually...). I know that my ex had all kinds of issues that I was never going to be able to fix for her (espcially as she wouldn't even imnagine she had any !).
So, I think I talked to other people (not actually through a dating site as such) through various foruyms and I would say it was to have some sort of a connection with another female. If I say that we almost immedately slept in separate beds then hopefully you might get the idea about what type of relationship we had...lol
Fortunately, after that split up, I found THE most perfect woman and I absolutely love her. I have never cheated on her but we have developed a sort of one-sided polyamorous relationship, whereby she dates occasionally. She only does that because I am suportive of that and I think it has made us closer.
The only reason I mention that is because now much of my erotica is catered for; all the imagination and sometimes visual aspects to it ...all things which I have found that I respond well to are peresent and my wife knows that she can trust me implicity. In the 10 years we have been together I have not been with anyone else and she knws that. She also knows that I like what we have and she has learned over the years that it does not affect us and our relationship adverself, it only enhances it.
It is possible that your boyfriend has a need or desire for erotica and, if it is catered for, then you might find that it can be done in a more open and above-board way and also possibly on your terms. I respond well to things being on my wife's terms...and I have never been closer and more in love with a woman than I am today.