I was married for 4 years to a man who constantly cheated on me. I forgave him time after time and even tried to ignore his cheating ways. I was still in love with him, he put me through college and helped me build my career and I'm really thankful for that but I hate him for constantly cheating. Now after a very bitter divorce I'm back on the dating scene and men approach me all the time but I don't trust them. I go on dates but I don't get my feelings involved, I move on after a few dates because I can't take them seriously. There's one guy who won't give up on me, and I think I like him but I'm not really for sure, I can't trust my own feelings. He's been through a divorce also and we talk about everything under the sun. We've been talking for two months and I want to have sex with him, I love our chemistry, but I'm too scared. I have the urge to leave him alone and disappear like I do the rest but I cant. He even sent me flowers and a nice letter expressing his feelings on my BDAY last week and wanted to take me to dinner but I made up an excuse why I couldn't go. He left a sweet voicemail expressing how much he miss me and that I can take all the time in the world, and this makes me want him more but at the same time it makes me want to run away even more. I'm so confused. I haven't talk to him since my BDAY but I want to talk to him but I can't find the courage to call. Please help! How do I get over this trust thing? Could he be the one? I'm afraid if I give him a try I will end up cheating before he cheats on me, I need help!
Most Helpful Guy
Try to remember that your mistake wasn't trusting your husband initially. It was overlooking the fact that he wasn't actually changing after he cheated. Its nice to think that we can magically learn to spot 'good people' vs 'bad people' and only trust good people and never be hurt.
Well life doesn't work that way. And building a big shell around yourself is no way to be happy.
Instead, like I said, recognize that you will trust people, and some of them will disappoint you, and what you need to do is trust that you WILL cope with life's disappointments, but you will also be more willing then you were before to get OUT of a relationship that's bad.0