How come some girls are indenial when a guy clearly is cheating?

if an ex clearly tells you things and let you know that the guy has been talking to her, why do some of you fall in denial when you already knew it was true but he just kept lying to you?


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What Guys Said 1

  • There are multiple things in play here. And some stereotypes, regardless of how true they might be, you might find offensive at this point. So read on at your own risk.

    1. Ego: The present girlfriend cannot let the ex-girlfriend win. This is a competition woman to woman. She wants to show a united front (her and her Boyfriend vs. Ex) She cannot look doubtful of her man in front of another woman. If her Boyfriend is contacting his ex, it is a knock against her (she is not as good a woman as his ex.)

    2. Self-delusion: Women are often guilty of lying to themselves, especially about men and how much they are loved by them. She cannot allow herself to be devalued or her love of her man devalued by accusation(see #1). This is just a test of our love. We are destined to be together. Everything the ex said is a lie. I can change him. He doesn't really know how much I love him.

    3. Secrecy: If such accusations are true she would like to correct them privately. She will be checking his phone records, email and Facebook postings as soon as the conversation is over. If anything is true she will confront him alone and when she feels in control of the situation. If there is a break up she will be the one doing it (see #1).

    4. Stuff: If there is a break up she will want to be on top of it, to make sure that she can get the valuable items out of the apt. first, even if they belong to him. Therefore he cannot have any forewarning through any word of mouth via any 3rd person. Denial at that point can serve her well.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Who wants to believe that it's actually happening to them? It's not a fun thing to go through. Some people deal with situations like this better than others. But sometimes you don't really know how you'd react until it does happen to you.

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    • well I just revealed to this chick what's been going on, first she was in denial. I told her so much stuff you wouldn't believe it. they never argued or anything, she was just having fun with him but didn't even know about the secrets lurking

    • I would be in denial too. If someone just claimed that my boyfriend was cheating I wouldn't believe them at first, I would want actual proof. It can be hard to just take someone's word right off the bat, especially if you love the person they're accusing

    • yep but I knew what her mom was doing in life, I knew what her daddy was doing. I knew that her mom was pregnant. I knew she had low self esteem. I knew he taught her how to fight. I knew about the gifts she bought him. I knew about the other girl. I knew about the fake engagement. I knew about her failing her drivers test. I mean when I say I knew it I knew it

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