Love advice needed and such

How do I move on after my love left me and it's been 3 years. I love him so as we were engaged and he left because his family didn't like me no more. I am having a hard time moving on. What can I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi!

    Well, it is hard for any of us to really know what happened. Why did they stop liking you?

    I totally know where you are coming from though! My ex (whom I was with for 3 years), had trouble with this. His family was REALLY religious and didn't believe in living together if you aren't married. So, they started hating me and calling me names and starting rumors to make us fight. This all led to him breaking up with me because he just couldn't handle the pressure. Honestly, I have moved on. I surprisingly moved on quick because I realized that he seriously had no balls of his own and wasn't a man. (sorry to be vulgar)

    anyway, the thing is, love, you MUST move on! For your own health and happiness! You are absolutely gorgeous! And, I am so sure you can meet a guy that is worthy enough to have you.

    In order to move on, though, you must be ready. I have tried and tried with my ex. But eventually, I just got sick of it. I told myself, I cannot keep dealing with this absurdity! I need to live a happy and healthy life and this wasn't the way! So, it ended sadly really. He loved me, and I loved him. But, we both knew it couldn't work because of his family. We both told each other that we loved each other and said good bye.

    then, 2 weeks later I met someone else. lol sounds bad, and I should have waited, but I can't help that I met him lol we are still together by the way. Going on 4 years! and strong!

    I am so happy I decided to take the step of moving on to someone else. You should try it. You deserve it!

    P.s-I live in Virginia! I live near Winchester! And I go to school at George Mason Uni! Not far from you! lol xx

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • They stopped liking me as he mentioned that they said I know she loves you but what else does she have to offer. These were the words from his family. I tried talking to them but they wrote me off fast. All because I defended myself against them.

    • wow. that's ignorant. I hate when families are like that. I wish you the best! xx

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What Guys Said 5

  • Get back in touch with the person you were before the relationship. Learn to live alone instead of constantly focusing on what you lost. Focus on what you have and what may materialize tomorrow. In essence, just keep breathing and moving forward.

    Tomorrow will come and with it a new set of experiences. That's life.

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    • always love your answers :)

    • Well said!

    • Hi, and thanks I have been living alone for over 3 years now. I only dated a few times. so spending time with myself isn't an issue at all. He was the one who kept me on a string and I feel betrayed. As I just feel abandoned that's all. I feel like I lost my best friend :( we were friends for 11 years. Kind of hard .

  • He left you for more reasons than his family. You need to understand that it's over. And realize that every day you are still obsessing over him is another day you are lonely and without love from a man.

    Find some hobbies or interests that give you joy. Get away from the things that remind you of him.

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    • I am so glad you know how it all went down. thanks for redefining my whole situation. You're the wise one.

    • You are most welcome. Let me know when I can help again.

  • That seems kind of cruel of him to leave you like that he must not have been that deeply in love with you and he must not have watched Romeo and Juliet that would have had an impact I'm sure

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  • I am truly sorry for that happening to you. As with anything in life you have to take one conflict at a time first. And it's not WHY? That is all of them together. You need first to realize you were asked to be his wife. So for him to abandon his promise of you as "one " ideal against the world did not and wasn't going to be any way when official. It's nothing more than a piece of paper not what makes you married. This is correct mind set to be in. Maybe I just dodged a bullet is and start remembering the little things you missed a MAN should do certain things for a women. Start there and I bet you find quickly a better place knowing it was his fault and only yours for being blinded by a love and trust that was only one sided. Are you sure it's not a blessing ? Think about it!

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  • A solitary refinement.

    You. Can. Do it.

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What Girls Said 5

  • oh dear am sorry to hear that :s , but why did he just give up on you like this ? you guys were engadged and he chose you over everybody which means he loved you , but this decision he has taken shows that although he may loved you he is not a person to depend on ,specially that you guys could live far from his family , and I am sure because you love him you could at least tried to be polite and prevent problems with them . anyway you really have to stay away from him for a while now , leave him alone and if he really loves you , he will have second thoughts and will call you regretting it , I swear it happens a lot. But anyway the best method to get anybody is to go through the sadness and the desperation while . there is no way you can get over it of you did not already go through it . so yes cry and feel sad for a while and trust me after a month or something you will start feeling better and better by time . hang out with some nice girlfriends , don't drink too much or sleep around because it will just make you worse . listen to good music . and try to be happy . good luck dear :)

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    • Hi hon, thanks for responding. unfortunately it's been 3 years and still crying because I feel I lost my first love. I hurt a lot.

  • I'm very sorry to hear that happened to you. If he left you just because his family didn't like you...that doesn't seem right at all. I'm in a relationship where my family wouldn't approve of my relationship so I keep it separate and would never let my family come between us because he is my #1 priority...

    It's your fiance's life...not his family...did you ask him if that is really the only reason he wants to move on? Did you at least have a talk with him?

    There isn't a lot of information...but based on what I see...if nothing can be worked out between you than he must not have been that emotionally invested in you...You deserve someone that loves you as much as you love them...someone that won't bail on you and that will stand by you through everything.

    Leave your heart open to a more deserving man...and spend time with yourself...and realize that you don't need another person to experience love...it can be felt by connecting with your higher power (if you believe you have one)...meditating, doing an activity that makes you happy...and being in the moment.

    I wish you all the best and hope things get better for you.

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    • HI , Yes we spoke on and off for 2 years. I agreed to hold on marriage if that meant losing him. He said he was coming back but he would just go and change his number and make plans with me and then hurt me again. I just do not understand. I know that he has never lived outside of his parents home and age 40 and now I hear he lives in the basement of his brothers. I know perhaps I dodged a bullet but he was my first love and he always said I was. But I tried so hard .

    • Yes, you did dodge a very big bullet, from what it sounds like. I believe if things are meant to be then they happen...there are only so many things we have control over...and in this case you couldn't control his decision to leave...but it was for the best. I suggest going to therapy...I'm going to school for counseling and have been in therapy to get over some things...and it is definitely a place to start when you don't know which direction to turn.

  • Any guy who's lead to the extent of breaking up because of what his family thinks is not someone you want to be with. He has to put HIS life and what he wants first and not be controlled by others - this would make for a sad life to live with such a man. Count your blessings.

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  • I know exactly how you feel! My fiancĂ© left me and it has been 5 years and I am still not over him. Just make sure every picture you have of him or with him is gone. Make sure that you don't have any way to contact him even though I know it is really hard to forget a number you have memorized by heart. Don't drive by his house or even think about it. Just try to hang out with friends and pre occupy your mind it's the best thing to do.

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  • Well his family didn't love you and he didn't either.

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