Im letting my paranoia get inda way of my relationship.

Im in a long term relationship with this boy and I'm in love with him with all my heart, I'm letting my paranoia get in the way. I trust him but there's always that part of me that thinks he'll cheat on me even doe he does everything in his power to prove he never will . My previous relationship was from hell. I was in it for 2 years, he cheated on me loads of times, threatened me multiple times and made me feel worthless it was ages ago but this is my most serious relationship I've had in a long time I don't wanna let my paranoia get the better of me and make me loose him ??, what can I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • What went on in your other relationship has made you paranoid, to keep your eyes out for things that might be going on. That's completely understandable.

    Keep telling yourself you are out of that other "relationship", that it is not the same with this guy, and that this guy is tons better than the crap you had before. I'm not saying he won't ever cheat on you, but you have to believe him because if he keeps trying to prove it and you don't accept it, he will stop trying to prove it. You've gotta let his love break you free from the chains that hold you down! ;)

    Best of luck to you,

    C

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What Guys Said 1

  • Both centigrade and sadie-lynn have good points to consider. After you have explained your position to him and he says he understands and will be considerate of your past, you have to walk a balanced line of trust and verify. (an old Russian saying) You cannot be with him 24/7 so some trust must be extended but there are verifications that can be done. Ask him to trust you with his phone records, all screen names and a reasonable knowledge of his schedule. Secrets need to be eliminated. If he can hear it, you may want to ask him to not be sensitive to the questions, Where have you been? What did you do there? Who was there? How long did you stay? When you ask these question of him you need to remain non-accusatory, slightly wide eyed and looking completely curious about his day. The appearance you give of being completely honest and curious about him(not necessarily his actions) will be well received and he will open up to you more. Please don't take these times of information gathering as times to correct him. This is time to become more secure in your relationship. Now, the maintaining of the image of curiosity is long term, necessary and a work of love.

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What Girls Said 2

  • i had a guy once who even though he never actually told me he thought I was cheating always got mad and jealous if I talked to another guy, even my boss. I wasn't planning on cheating and we were even engaged but he kept that uneasiness about me and other guys. it eventually became so bad that he didn't want me speaking to male members of my family! that was my breaking point. I broke off the engagement. if you keep thinking he's gonna cheat, it might get so on his nerves that he breaks up or even cheats just to prove you right.

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  • Who did threat you?

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