Am I being irrational?

My boyfriend and I work together. I had to take my 15 min break before I left so he told me he would wait for me. After my break was over, I looked for him and I couldn't find him. I called and texted him with no response. I waited and looked around for another 10 min and decided to walk home which is about a 10 min walk. It's really icy outside so I fell and slipped twice. I get home and he's already there. I said, "I thought you were waiting for me" He said, "I did. I waited 15 min for your break, then walked around looking for you, couldn't find you so I left." I felt really upset because I thought it was rude. I was visibly upset and now he's acting mad at me for some reason. Thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ask him why he didn't try calling or texting you and why he didn't respond when you did.

    • Offering a solution is helpful rather than backtracking. It gets nothing accomplished just both people even more upset.

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    • I wouldn't be so sure they discussed anything of the sort, and that's exactly why I'm suggesting it. She mentioned that she "was visibly upset and now he's acting mad at [her] for some reason". These are signs that the both of them are not really communicating, just expecting the other to understand their actions.

      Phone calls don't always go through? Seriously? Come on. If someone tries to call it should show up on your phone. He didn't try. Period.

    • Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that if she's mad about something she should talk about it, and so should he. Your solution is only treating the symptoms. The real issue here is that they're not talking when they should. You're just giving them something to agree on so they can forget they had a problem in the first place, which means it'll just pop up again under new circumstances.

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What Guys Said 1

  • do you guys have cell phones?

    i mean it sounds like a miscommunication or simply just a weird occurrence of two people looking for each other and meeting up.

    I think it is natural to feel a little upset but I think you should try and just relax and see things from his perspective and realize that he wasn't trying to be rude but like you he couldn't find you.

    maybe you two could get cell phones so you can text or call each other


What Girls Said 1

  • You both did practically the same thing. Waited around and looked for each other.

    You both left when you couldn't find each other.

    No one has a reason to be angry.

    Just use better communication next time.

    Have a spot that you will always be after your break, so that way no one is looking for anybody.

    • Well now that isn't entirely true. She tried calling and texting him, which means that she would've noticed if he had, which means he hadn't.

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    • I'm not saying you blamed anyone. I'm saying you're misinterpreting what I'm saying as talking about blame. The reason I'm bringing up this point is because she's asking if she's being "irrational", which indicates that he, and probably not her either, are making a proper effort to put themselves in the others' shoes.

      In most cases when someone calls someone else "Irrational" it means they're refusing to consider in what way the other person is thinking.

    • Okay.

      Well I'll just close this discussion out and say we both have a point.

      You're right in saying communication is key.

      And I'm right in saying they should always have a mutual spot where they should meet.

      That has happened to me and my significant other and I've felt the very same way as this girl.

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