How to get over a really bad break up?

I've had my heart broken over and over again and the last guy I dated was the last straw. I've given up on love and I became obsessed with my career and it's starting to scare my friends. I can't get over my ex and I've tried everything I could to try and get over him and it's been about forever since we broke up. I can't stop missing him and I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried going on dates but anytime I kiss someone else I think about him. This is hard for me to admit but I need help. How can I stop missing him?


Most Helpful Girl

  • "Breaking up is hard to do," as the saying goes, and I am sure you have heard this old song yourself--and with it, the same ole "song and dance" of how everyone is telling you to forget this jerk, move on, we are so worried about you, and blah, blah, blah...I remember the longest guy who was my hardest to kick, my first love. We were 13. We were an item for three years, and at 16, I broke it off. It took me many years, many rebounds and tears, to try and forget this guy. When I finally had a chance to be with him one night before he tied the knot with another(I broke up with him because of my own personal reasons), my feelings for him--and in the bed--were not the same, and believe it or not, my closure finally had come. I could move on. You may never stop forgetting him completely, and for a long time, you may still miss him terribly because you have NOT yet met another to take his place, is why you are so obsessed with your career. That is a good thing, but not altogether, because you need to take a break sometimes, and at least go out with some friends, mingle, find yourself again, and who knows--maybe when you least expect it, someone even better will pop into your life one day, sweetie. Yes, you may need help, and as another ole saying goes:"God helps those who help themselves," and if you feel you need someone close to you, or even a counselor to speak with, find the time, and do it. You are obviously driving yourself mad with it, your poor heart is broken apart, and with all of this, and the "about forever" time it seems it has been for you to mend this, something tells me you are reaching out for someone to find all the answers. I 'm glad you came here. I know just how you feel...I do, believe me... Good luck,sweetie.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Been there...done that...the t-shirt was too small.

    Closure is always good. If they tell you why it will not work it would be easy...but that's hardly ever the case. I was told to delete pictures and burn the real pictures. I never do...thus...I am stuck.

    But soon I expect to meet someone so good that I can delete with ease. That day will come... I am just not sure when.

  • I'll use a quote from Brian L. Weiss.

    “Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on external things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone else.”

    So this is what you have done.

    You've become dependant on external things and given away your power. Only way to regain your happiness is to regain your power. Or you can go on a journey of endless distractions to ease your pain, that of course in the end will get you nowhere.

    Regaining you power is realising and regaining you sense of love.

    Love is not in the hands of other people. It's not something you must crave and gain from others. It's in you and nowhere else.

  • How long is forever in months? What did you like about him? Surely yo did not like everyting, what did you dislike about him?

    • About 8 months since we broke up. To shorten this up I'll just say the top 3 things. I liked how funny he was, and how sweet he was, and his smile. I didn't like his ignorance, how insecure he could be and his temper.

What Girls Said 2

  • I feel your pain, but remember, you're not alone. Just keep trudging along. It will be hard, but one day your sadness will be filled with good vibes.

  • It's easy for other people to say just move on but until they are in your shoes they won't understand. The best thing you can do is just continue waking up everyday and live your life. Throwing yourself into your career actually is good because it's keeping you from becoming depressed and shutting down, keep moving forward and push yourself little by little to get back into dating even if you don't feel like it. Everyday believe it or not it gets better even if you don't feel like it is. I can't say you will ever forget him, you don't have to forget him you just have to open your heart enough to allow someone else to come in and sweep you off your feet. Keep your memories sweetie just live :)


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