What's our relati status?

We met in October, first date was coffee I saw him the next time and we went out and cooked at his place and watched a movie after. We have had sex - we are both scorpios and very sexual and have great sex together.. Since our first date we have just had movie nights and sometimes go to breakfast together the morning after, he's a plastic surgeon and busy so I don't get to see him as often as I like. In 2 months I think we saw each other 8 times.. Whenever I come over we watch a movie or TV show and have icecream and then after when we're ready to go to bed we have sex .. Sometimes we just go to bed after because he's tired , once I was on my period and was nervous he would be upset I didn't tell him but he completely understanded and we went to bed. If he has to go to work and I'm still in bed he trusts me to stay and leave whenever I'm ready. Here are the parts that make me doubt it.. One we don't see each other often, I know he's focused on his work but I know sometimes he chooses going out with his friends when he's off instead if he liked me, he also is very short with his texting but he is older than me and maybe it's not normal for him naturally ... I'm currently traveling abroad , the day I left he gave me a shirt sprayed with his cologne and the week before he gave me a late bday gift since he was out of town on my actual birthday .. He got me a scarf from his favorite designer. He has points where he shows he cares but I just feel Like he would be more involved .. He hasn't texted me while I've been away but anytime I text he replies.. We are both scorpios like I said and I'm worried we are both trying to be the least involved to prevent heart ache.. I've been away for a month and texted him how he was and he replied and asked how my trip was going and when I would be back when I said in a month ( we will be away for two months) he replied and kept the conversation going .. But now I haven't talked to him in a few days and expecting not to again until I land .. Does this seem like he wants a relationship and cares about me just not good at showing it? We will also miss Valentine's but I don't think I will text him because I'm not really sure what we are.. Before I left he referred to us as seeing each other in conversation and when I was at the airport he texted me that he was sorry he's been so busy and frustrated and work is tough ... What should I expect when I go back ,how does he think of me / the relationship ?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well good thing you're both Scorpios, or else the whole thing would be completely screwed. You guys should both thank your parents for having sex roughly the same time of the year.

    Anyways... That actually seems like a fairly healthy relationship. He is very busy. He is also a grown man with his own life. So he's going to make time for himself and his friends as well as make time for you. He seems like he cares.

    Now onto the cautions. Be very careful about treating this as one of those 'love of your life omg going to get married and have ALL THE BABIES!' situations. Play it casually and try not to get too invested into the relationship. If he wants to take things further, and you do too, that's fine. But be aware that this may not happen soon.

    Once we hit around 25 or so, we realize the importance of actually sitting down and talking about the status of our relationship(some younger some later, please don't blast me in the comments going I KNEW THAT WHEN I WAS 4! I don't care, and this isn't about you). If he hasn't said he's exclusive, don't just assume him to be. He shouldn't assume the same of you either.

    TLDR: You sound like you have a very healthy but very casual relationship. You should sit down with him at some point to figure out expectations and where the relationship stands.

    • Hrm... When I said "This isn't about you," I was referring to anyone besides the Question Asker who might feel compelled to comment.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Being he IS a plastic surgeon, I would give this poor "doctor of doom" a little more courtesy, sweetie.I was seeing a guy once for a year, and you would have thought this dunce cap was a surgeon! He worked ten-twelve hours a day in a convenient store, and only saw me on his day offs(two I know)at his "convenience." His texts were many times, far and few between, his calls, practically null and void, and on many of his days off, he spent it with friends. When we were together, it was spent in the "Grand Hotel", and afterward, it was as though I meant nothing to him but a friend, with benefits. But he always said he loved me, which I believed, but in his own way. I was not a priority, nor was he ready for a long term relationship. I sadly broke it off. Yes, maybe "Doctor Doolittle" could spend a bit more time with you instead of his pals, and being his time is short, this is what he chooses to do. Most guys are "short and sweet" with their texts, unless you are actually in a long term relationship, where it calls for more. I am very impressed at his thoughtfulness in giving the shirt sprayed with his scent, and a beautiful scarf. This is a sign of devotion and it came from heart, not out of obligation. He definitely has feelings for you. And I see you do the same. And you are in the stage of your relationship, where you are questioning different things and---yes, him. The part that has me bothered mostly here, is you both are NOT going out in public together. Have you found out why, or even encouraged this with him? I am not so concerned about the communication because being he IS a busy busy doctor, he may not be much into the texts, as I say, and don't worry if you don't hear from him constantly, the man leads a hectic lifestyle. He even as much as text you at the airport, so that alone should have gotten with you "on board that plane with feelings of contentment." When you return, talk with him about the things that bother you, and maybe mention about hanging outside the house once in awhile, instead of around the house. That will make a healthy relationship, especially a new one. I see you in a relationship that could become more, but whatever you do, don't chase him, or make him feel pressured, because that will turn the fires off faster than anything, and instead of "periodic texts", you will end up with NO texts, then, a speech about how he doesn't want a long term relationship, needs his space, has no time, doesn't know what he wants, and blah, blah, blah..So in this stage of things, "handle the good doctor with kid 'surgical gloves'".

    • I wouldn't say he's purposefully not taking me out its kinda my preference as well, I prefer to be with him and really enjoy watching movies together rather than going out somewhere.. We went out on our second day than went to his place and Halloween he wanted to go out but I chose to stay in .. I'm kinda more of an introvert that way but he's not afraid to be seen with me or anything one of the last days we spent together we went out to a restaurant and had breakfast before he went to work

    • Great, then that is a sign that HE WOULD take you out, so not so much him, but you in this department. Okay, well, it sounds to me as though you have nothing to fear so much with him, and that you are both off to a good start. But again, talk turkey to him when you return, but with this "Good Doctor"---"weigh your words." I have found me, especially "tired, busy bees", get defensive when questioned.:(

  • he likes you he's just not ready to commit to anything...

    Since he's Mr.busy I would let him initiate anything between you guys...that goes for texts, phone calls,skypes etc. Remember distance makes the heart grow fonder... show a little less interest in him and surely he will come around

    also as far as you guys having that repetitive sexual relationship..stop going to his place, try doing other activities...make some memories..

    he knows when you come over your bound to have sex with him...you have made him comfortable.

    its hard to admit how you feel about someone to their face, because your fear of losing them..but honestly wouldn't it make you feel so much more free.

    btw* don't get discouraged about my last statement... I'm a Scorpio to and we tend to be very intense characters as far as feelings and sex goes. so girl trust me I understand


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