Recent ex keeps contacting me; help?

I dated my recent ex for six months, and I felt like we had a very loving and successful relationship together. Many friends called us a great couple/cute together, that kind of thing, so it came as a big surprise when she revealed to me just after Christmas that she was having second thoughts about the relationship. At that point we were both finishing an internship, about to head to our separate hometowns at the start of January, so I guess despite my confidence that we were at the point a long-term relationship was forseeable, it wasn't too surprising.

She said at the time that she needed more time to go back to college and meet more people and continue with her life, but she acknowledged that I was a great boyfriend and treated her wonderfully. And then she said she wanted to keep in touch, and that maybe after a few months we could meet up and see how we were doing. She said she wanted to stay friends, because I was a wonderful person and to lose her from her life completely would be like losing a friend.

So I get that much. But about a week afterward, almost as soon as we got home, she has contacted me literally every night through texting or Facebook chat (and we've also Skyped once). It's been surprising to me, and sometimes it's a little distracting because she will often text me for hours on end, while I've been simultaneously trying to apply for grad schools. I've asked her about some of her other best [female] friends from the internship, and it sounds like she's been in more contact than me with her other friends. The last few nights she's talked to me even as she's falling asleep, and she's started to go back to using our little in-jokes and stuff. In many ways, it feels like we're still in our relationship, except we're not.

The problem is that it's increasingly causing me emotional stress. I deeply miss her and would love to start the relationship again (but I've kept the conversations very casual/friendly and haven't mentioned this at all). I don't know what she wants, or if she really just does see me as her best friend now. I think part of me when talking to her wants to believe we're in a relationship and we're not, and every time that occurs to me when talking to her it crushes me. The idea of her falling asleep and me not being able to tell her that I love her, or that something she says is cute (which a lot of it is) really hurts me inside. I don't know what to do.

She keeps referring back to this visit to her university I could do, probably in a month or so, and my plan so far has been to just wait it out, play it casual until then and then see where things are there. But with the amount of stress this is causing me I don't know if I can wait that long. :-/ Part of me wants to either tell her how I feel now or just tell her to stop talking to me, but I feel like either of these might blow my chances. Any suggestions?

TLDR: Ex-girlfriend hasn't stopped talking to me since we broke up, not sure how to handle it.
She also's told me a couple of times that she still sleeps with the teddy bear I bought her a few months ago, and she also sent me a picture text of her dorm room (which she moved into after we broke up) and I could see in the background that she'd hung up a photocollage I made of us of the two of us together. I thought both of these were surprising.


Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • LOOK SHE STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR YOU FOR SURE ,so all you haveto do is to show you care too but don't say it , don't say I love you or I miss you , I mean go along with was is she doing ,but make her tell you it , so trick her ,she is still inlove with you but she needs more time , or she needs it to come from her and not from the situation , so trick her , make it look like she is controlling it , while in fact you are controlling it because she still loves you , no way she could be doing all these and she has nothing for you , specially what you wrote in your update


What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Recommended myTakes