Indecisiveness in a relationship?

Okay. So I decided to end things with my boyfriend of 5 months because I felt like we were going in 2 different directions and that I'm not ready to commit to anyone (I'm only 19 anyhow, he's 21 and I'm his first love). I felt so bad about my decision that after 3 days I decided to go talk to him about it. Now we are back together, and I don't know how I even feel anymore. I know, I'm indecisive and it's not fair to either one of us, but I need to know: 1. Did I say things too early? 2. Was getting back with him the right thing? And 3. How do I appropriately address this situation?

Also: we were friends before we dated. It's not that I don't want to be with him, but I don't want to be committed to anyone. One day I'd want him, another day, I won't. And it's been driving me up the wall.


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  • I bet it's been driving him up the wall too. The problem I see with your initial decision to drop him is that you made the decision about what's best for the relationship without him. The kind of problem you describe might be fixable if you both agree and act together. You gave him no chance to have a say or try to fix the problem. This all may be part of your fear of commitment.

    There are different levels of commitment between the extremes of only dating one person at a time to getting married and tying every aspect of your lives together. There is a lot of room in all that to find something that isn't threatening to you but also works for him. If it's not this relationship, chances are the same problems will come up in the next. At least your boyfriend is the forgiving type.

    What does commitment mean to you? That may be part of the problem behind your fears is that you see it as only one thing and you don't want to go there. What would be a comfortable level of commitment for you? And would that work for him? These are the questions I suggest you mull over.

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  • My opinion is if you love someone commit to them.

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