I want my ex who dumped me to beg just so I can have the satisfaction of saying too late, why?

I think I have finally come to grips with this now which I think is crucial to my recovery from this breakup. Me and my ex were together for a year, we are both 20, love birds, soulmates all of that stuff. We used to just tell eachother how sure we were that we would be together forever, we went to Paris after 2 months and then on another holiday to Turkey 2 months later. We truly were loved up and inseperable, we did everything together, spoke every day 4/5 times a day without fail, if we wasn't on the phone we was texting eachother so it was properly intense. I mean it may sound like we was both clingy but I don't think it was that, we just enjoyed eachother's company.

Fast forward to now 5 weeks after she broke up with me and I think I have finally come to grips with the situation. My ex didn't exactly treat me like crap and cheat on me or anything but she did used to treat me as if I could be replaced easily. When we would have small arguments or disagreements she would break up with me only to apologise the next day saying she didn't mean it.This happened on average every week for the last 2 months of our relationship. She would often say there are loads of guys out there who can treat her better than me etc and just used to act is if I was expendable. She often used to say that when she met me she had options as loads of guys were trying to date her and how if it wasn't me it would have been someone else etc. I'm a pretty laid back and mellow guy so I never got angry or upset I would always just take things light heartedly but looking back some of the things that used to go on were not right. The whole reason we broke up in the first place was because she said in the future if I don't earn more she won't marry me, I didn't agree, didn't get angry either just stated that love means more and you collate salaries so why should it matter. She wanted to cuddle after saying this and I wasn't in the mood so was just on my phone, she then got extremely angry broke up with me, insulted me, saying she's on a different intelligence level to me, saying I'm immature saying were not compatible anymore etc. After dumping me she then blocked me on everything possible, Facebook, whatsapp etc.

I went through the trenches of emotions in the first week, I never wanted her back or missed her but the way she blocked me and cut of contact, deleted all our pictures of Facebook within a day got to me. She said when she dumped me she wants no contact for 6 weeks but messaged after 2 weeks of no contact saying she feels ready to speak to me and wants to see how I'm coping. At the time I didn't reply but I genuinely just thought this was her trying to get me back as she has done multiple times before, I think I made myself believe that so I could feel wanted and like I was worth something. We were together for a year and she just got rid of me just like that...

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i ignored that thinking she wanted me back when in actuality I was just fooling myself. She was probably just over the break up, two weeks and she's over a one year relationship, I mean if she really was going through it like I was she wouldn't be saying she's over it so quickly. She even, said I should try and speak to someone about the break up as it helps, at the time I thought she was just taking the pi$$ when in actuality she was just over the situation and probably was trying to advice me..
...in regards to getting over her. -Like the last messages we sent to eachother were heated, she kept messaging me so I just told her to stop contacting me. She kept probing as to why, I should let my feelings out etc and I was just like leave me alone, stop contacting me as I don't want to be friends. She kept prompting me as to why not etc, is it because she is an ex or her personality. I said it's because your personality is terrible, after this she went of on me...
said I was she never regretted leaving me, is glad, should have left sooner, I'm fat and immature. Said no respectable female unless they are as crazy as her will want me etc. When she said this I honestly just replied that's great now leave me alone and just played it off as if I was laughing etc and not truly affected in the messages but it did hurt. I told a friend the situation and he said she clearly wants you back...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay well first of all... no person in this entire world can define your worth. You are worthy just like everyone else. I understand your feelings right now because I've been there. I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear but I'll say it anyway. You are young. You have your whole life ahead of you and the truth is, not too many people find their soulmate at such a young age anymore. The world has changed, people have changed. The younger generations are taking a significantly longer time to fully mature. And I can tell that she's got a lot of growing up to do if she feels the need to constantly remind you that she has guys standing in line at her door just waiting to date her. If that's all she can talk about then maybe she should go out with them... she will soon see that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. It still takes work and you can't run from the problems or else you'll be alone forever. So when you have love you keep it, you cherish it...

    My advice to you is to be happy for the amazing experience she gave you. She showed you that you are capable of love and finding that connection with another person. To be honest, it's a hard thing to come by and at times I've even thought to myself "will I ever feel that connection with someone again?" But I will.. It took me a long time to realize that though. You should block her phone number if she is going to insult you like that. I do have a feeling she will continue to come back to you and when that time comes you will have moved on if you listen to your gut. You know what you need to do.. because if you didn't you wouldn't be here asking. I think you just need validation and a place to vent rather than feeling that you've won something by rejecting her. I also know that one day in your future you will look back on this and will laugh..

    • What an amazing answer, really helped! You are a beautiful person inside and out (hot picture), thanks so much for the advice!

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What Girls Said 5

  • Clearly, she has some emotional issues, and is dragging you down with her with her "back and forth pattern", so don't be fooled, don't go a long with it. And now, she acts as though she is too good for you with her smart ass answers and actions, along with her screwed up mind. She obviously is going through something for her to suddenly turn like this, after nearly a "perfect love story." Don't be a fool, sweetie, and fall for her "baby act"---nor baby actions. It is something that she is starting and I see a pattern. She is now sporadic and unpredictable, and will continuously having you board her crazy roller coaster ride, and each and every time she dumps you, you will always get hurt. You can't trust her anymore, she is "off the wall." She will keep playing you like a fiddle.Stay as far away from her as possible, this "She-devil."

  • well she left ou so your bitter about the fact she thinks she's found someone better than you. So your conscience to avoid feeling bad wants her new relationship to suffer and her to realize what she did was wrong, she should be with you. And when she arrives asking for a second chance by rejecting her you'd be gathering your wounded pride - in a way moving on - closing that chapter of your life

  • She's putting you down and saying shit like, no one would go out with you or I could have any guy I wanted so that she can have some sort of control over you. Think about it though, she said she wouldn't marry if you didn't earn enough money. When you told her you didn't agree she tried being all affectionate to get you all sweet again and then when you rejected it she felt powerless and went off on one.

    If a guy said to me that he could be with any girl, got a lot of offers when we got together or that another woman would treat him better I would tell him to go find someone else. No one should have to put up with psychological abuse. Strong word I know but it's true though.

    Yeah she does want you back so she can try and manipulate you even more and dump you as she pleases. I've seen this happen so many times. Then when it's over, guess what? You're the bad guy.

    • Very insightful answer, thanks. Your right about her going of on one when I rejected her advances in trying to get me all sweet again, she probably knew she was saying something ridiculous which is why she might have got worried when I was like WTF where does love fit into this lol.

      Your so right! Best answer ever, I used to tell her sometimes when she'd say that to go a find these people then, but not with enough conviction tho.

      I'm so glad I'm over it now :D your amazing!

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    • Anytime :)

  • i'm sorry to hear of your loss. sometimes we go through stages of a break up in our emotions. I just went through an anger/ bitter, thing and then acceptance that's said and done

    find your coping mechanism and take care of your health and keep positive if you can.

    there's nothing you can do to control what she says or does

    maybe there's a reason to her behavior that we don't know about

    and try to empathize but move on

    waiting or playing tricks isn't going to help since it's wasting your time from moving on and spending time on yourself. that should be priority

  • She wants you back and she is mistreating you. Forget her. If she does make more money than you later on, she will leave you for another guy. Better you drop her now than later.


What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah, money is important, a woman who cares more about money as opposed to a man who would love her right, likely get several jobs just to support her.

    She's honestly not worth your time, just ignore her, and try and forget her, stay busy. She does sound like she has a terrible terrible personality, her loss.

  • Human nature is to be jealous, spiteful and hateful. It takes a strong person to be a decent person.