Now I'm loosing sleep. This needs to stop right?

I don't normally actually seek advice of here... but I guess I just need reassurance

LONG STORY SHORT: she drives me insane and I love it but its effecting me


backtrack a year and my ex break up. Soon out fo boredom I start texting people I used to know. text a couple I set up together to see how they are doing. They tell me they broke up. Girl (call her Claire) sais its because things were getting hectic. Guy (call him Sam) sais its because he just didn't like her anymore.

I never thought much of sam but tried to be his friend in the past and he never let me. But Claire is really cool and right up my ally, and she starts to talk to me a lot after this.

Fast Forward a month and claire comes over to hang out a few times, before we go on two dates and kiss the first few times. This "dating" routine goes on for two months and we get closer and hang more often as time goes on. I ask if she wants to make us official

Suddenly she is distant and unsure. One day, he surprises me with sam wanting to get back together and she's unsure what she wants. After discussing it, she sais she like me alot, but somewhere in her she still loves him. So, I made a big mistake here I figured that since I knew he doesn't love her, and they fought often when together, it wouldn't be long until they break up again and we could put it behind us. So I tell her to do what she thinks she needs to.

They have been back together since April. She still complains to me about him all the time. Her new years resolution was to BE HAPPY, even if it meant breaking up with him (her words).

Now, so much of this drives me insane

- I like her so much, I dated someone else in July. but it didn't get . far because I wasn't really interested

-She is unhappy and it kills me.

-She won't listen to me or take my advice

-Everytime I start to move on she pulls me back in like a tractor beam

-Ive lost contact with a lot of friends since highschool a few years ago, and she's one of the few people I talk to often

I should just give up right? Call it quits in the 13th round?

I have a strong philosophy about missing opportunity but I feel I'm missing more by staying interested.

I couldn't sleep tonight because I think in circles about her and can't stop.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • To start with its not you its her! This situation is crap and I'm going through something similar myself. Its mind games she is still running to you complaining which is not cool without sounding harsh she made her bed. I would say leave it cut contact if you can as this situation is not healthy and is hurting you. It won't feel like it now but this wasn't right for either of you at this time. The date you went on wouldn't of felt right because your still into this other girl. It won't always feel like that though so chin up and good luck.


What Guys Said 1

  • You didn't do anything wrong.

    She chose to stay with the guy and to keep you close as a confident.

    You should tell her you can't keep seeing her or talking to her, as your feelings for her are still the same, and that you can't be her emotional stabilizer, and you feel used.

    Because let's be honest here, she's using you. Maybe not since your first dates, but at least since she got back together with him.

    • see she not malicious, but I do feel that, perhaps subconsciously, she is using me to keep herself happy while she's with him.

      I think I should just cut contact for a while but it will be so hard to stick to that

    • I don't think she's manipulating you. It's more she finds in you what she's missing in her relationship. If she wanted that, all she had was to stay with you. You can't take the responsibility for her choices. So yeah, just tell her you don't want to hear about her relationship, if you guys want to keep talking, and you can't cut her off.

    • yeah we are fighting now =/ haha but thanks for answering and the advice man I appreciate it