My ex and I both attend the same UNI & have the same circle of friends...We're both 20th. We dated for a year and 1/2 and we both loved one another... things ended in May of 2013 because of stress with finals, trying to find ourselves and slight arguments which weren't huge, but were definitely caused by the stress of college and finding time.
after that we both went no contact... I found out he got into a long distance relationship 3 months after we broke up and that lasted till Dec 29th. This caused a lot of tension between him and I because his girlfriend at that moment in time tried to start drama and he began to ignore me when we started our fall semester and pretended that I didn't exist when I went out of my way to be friendly and nice.
Around the mid December, he asked if we could talk and spoke to me for 3 hours & apologized for the way he's been treating me, apologized for the things he did that caused our arguments in our relationship, that he still has feelings for me, misses me, & he has a lot of maturing to do & would like to maybe try things again in the future. I told him that though I still care for him, we need to be friends first and nothing can happen between us while he his girlfriend.
so he texts me on new years day and tells me that he is single , has been thinking about me, misses me, thinks about us getting back together & hopes that things can work out between us. I got very hopeful & continued to text him for the past two weeks till I noticed that he as acting oddly. My friend had to tell me that he's been flirting with his best friend & that him & her are now in a relationship during the same time he was talking and flirting with me. she saw all this because she is friends with him on twitter
I was upset by this and sent him this text message on Tuesday
"I apologize for being upfront, I'm not trying to be harsh but I deserve to know the truth and to be respected. I will not get hurt by you for the second time. I care about you, but you have my emotions up in arms. this is unfair to me. I would like to be friends... but I can't live on false hope from you"
he replies "you are right. its not fair to you. and the last thing I want to do is hurt you.i just want to let you know that yes I have been thinking about you during the holiday season and let you know I still care about you. the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I think the best thing for the both of us right now is to maintain a friendship."
it's not that he's in another relationship so soon after his last... that upsets me... its that he flirted with me and essentially lead me on thinking that maybe he wants to get back together with me that really hurt me...
he replied: "i understand and respect it"
i just feel so guilty and bad for saying that... did I do the right thing? I really would like to be friends, but there's really nothing I can do... unless he was willing to be friends with me... iknow I should let this go... but I miss him... terribly...
Most Helpful Girl
Sweetie, stay friends..you are far better off. He obviously doesn't know what he wants, who he wants, and will come to you on a rebound from another rebound and the pattern will start---and continue. You are seeing this for yourself. He enjoys playing the field, and not only that, he is sporadic, unpredictable, and if you let him, will keep "playing you" and---on your heart strings. Don't feel guilty for anything you say to him at this point. You have done nothing but live on "false hope and empty promises". He is not capable of holding down a relationship anymore. You are right. It's not fair to you that he leads you on, then drops the "flirt act" as soon as something or someone else comes along, or he suddenly gets "cold feet". Yes, maintain a friendship, stay civil, and stay friends with no benefits.1