Mixed feelings about my boyfriend...Please help!!!!!

I've been in a relationship with this guy for almost 3 months, and before we started dating everyone kept telling me NOT to date him because he's my best friend and it could ruin everything and blah blah blah but I didn't listen because I was falling for him. He's the sweetest guy that has ever lived, and any girl would be lucky to have him. However, it wasn't long before I started having mixed feelings about this whole thing. I take 3 hours to text him back or I don't even text back at all, I constantly find myself making up excuses to avoid hanging out with him, and sometimes I even think about other guys! I have come to realize that I'm really not relationship material. However, its like I avoid him one day and I'm crazy in love with him the next. It's like, I want to break up with him one day, and then I want to stay with him the next because I don't want to lose him. a lot of my friends keep telling me to stay with him because I don't know what I'm about to throw away, others tell me to just dump him right away to avoid hurting him in the long run. I don't know what to do because he's extremely over emotional and I'm afraid that if I dump him he would get really depressed and possibly kill himself because he was about to when his ex dumped him. And another part of me would still want to be with him. I was thinking about taking a break so I would have some time to think , but I don't know how I should go about telling him that because I really don't want to hurt him. What should I do?!?!?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It would be fair and selfless of you to address your change of heart about the relationship, especially if he is fully invested in the relationship.

    Given the fact that you reached a point in which you are avoiding him and thinking of other guys, it is safe to assume that flirting and other improprieties will soon follow if you continue allow your curiosity to build.

    Once that happens, he may want to disassociate him from completely.

    To avoid mistrust from occurring and continuing or discontinuing on a sour note, I suggest that you be as forthcoming as possible.

    But first, I suggest you spend as much time with him as you can, perhaps over a few weeks or so, to determine with certainty if you are unable to reach nirvana and fulfillment by simply being with him, and to determine if it's where you want to be.


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  • The 3-6 month mark is where the disillusionment stage happens and you start seeing all their flaws. Many relationships end here. If they don't end here, the next most common place to end is at the one year mark. Break ups are less common after this point.

    What you're experiencing is perfectly normal.


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