What should I do next, to be able to get my ex girlfriend back?

My ex (age 15) and I (age 18) dated for about 5 months until she ending our relationship 3 weeks ago. Which is what I don't get because she use to say she wanted a future with me and all this lovey dovey things. But she ended the relationship because her parents didn't want her to date until 18 and that she just wanted for us to be friends until she is old enough to date because she didn't like to lie to her parents when we would go out on a date. Also she said she wanted to finish high school, get a job, and enjoy life. Since the breakup I have never contacted her but she has contacted me about 5 times and we have talked about our feelings. And she has told me that it hurts her to see me move on so quickly; obviously I haven't yet. But that was 2 weeks ago when she last contacted me until yesterday she sent me a message through an app called kik saying she just wanted to say goodnight. Does that mean anything? Does she still have feelings for me or did she really just wanted to say goodnight? But I do want to get her back and I guess that's the reason why I've never seem to contact her. Was to make her miss me and see if she would come back to me. I was thinking of sending her a message tomorrow night to see how she's doing and maybe later on in the future ill ask her if she would want to get something to eat and see if I can spark anything there. At the moment I've been working a lot on myself in being a better man so when she talks or sees me again she will see I have changed. So my question is, for getting back my ex, what should I do next to be able to get her back? Should I try to contact her or should I wait a bit longer more to see what she might do and then contact her? Because my biggest fear right now is the more I wait for something to happen the more she will seem to notice that I don't want anything to do with her and that she will end up losing feelings for me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The advice given by several, to remain in contact and keep a light friendship going, is the way I'd go at the situation. If you keep the communication open, you stand a good chance of the relationship developing further down the line. If you stop talking with her, the relationship stands a good chance of being doomed. That being said, keep in mind that people grow. You will, and so will she. Sometimes people grow together. That's a beautiful thing. Sometimes they grow apart. That's part of life too. While giving her the space to grow, to honor that which her parents request, she will grow one way or the other. I think we all grew a whole lot in that age-span, and we sure weren't the people at 18 that we were at 15. My advice is to give the space, stay in contact, but don't put your life on hold. You said that she wants to finish high school and enjoy life. Based on that I wouldn't put all my hopes and dreams into her. She might find someone who suits her desires better than you, and there is also the possibility of you finding someone you are drawn to more than you are to her. Right now it's a growing stage for you both. Give yourself the chance to be friends, good friends. In my experience lasting relationships are based more on friendship than they are on anything else. Look at it this way; looks will fade, hormones will change, body shapes will droop. In the end, friendship can cement a relationship when everything else is shaking. Bottom line, keep her as a friend, and see what happens. Be who you are and into who you are developing, because that is honest. Let her be who she is and into who she is growing, because that is supporting. Then again, who am I to say anything. Look inside yourself. Think. The answer is within, somewhere, perhaps helped to surface by the replies you've gotten. Best of success in your life and your endevors.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I would recommend being friends with her, keep in touch lightly but respect that she wants to wait for a more serious relationship until she is 18, just give each other a little space for now, but then remain friends, and see how down the road that may change etc.

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  • After break ups, people tend to be really sensitive and that's what she's feeling right now. She's confused and lost and you sound like you feel the same too. You have to figure out how you truly feel about her. Take your time with that question too. It sounds like she truly cares about you and she doesn't want to wait until she's 18 to date. Try sitting down and talking to her and see what goes from there.

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  • Do nothing and don't think about her...focus on improving yourself. But if she needs you then be around but act normally and don't act as if you're still in love with her. She'll get back to you naturally if she still wants to be with you :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • I would continue to give her her space. But being honest, you're getting to that stage in your life where you will be too old to date her.

    I'm assuming you're a senior in HS, and also that you'll be going off to college or a career after graduation. You're transitioning from a child to a man, and she'll still be a child for a couple of years, at least.

    It may be best to let this relationship go and focus on new ones.

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  • Dude, she's trying to make her parents proud. You should encourage her to continue to please her parents and stop thinking about yourself. Wait until she's 18, then go for it... there's too much drama at her age anyways.

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    • Not necessarily. When I was 15 I dated an 18 year old and it was probably the least dramatic relationship I've ever had. Not every 15 year old's life is full of drama.

    • Touch?, but I think in most cases I'm right.

    • Touche*

  • If you want me to be honest I will give you the straight-forward answer. Two possible solutions, one: She sees that you are moving on and has realized that she misses you and needs you yet still doesn't want to lie to her parents and shell figure it out. Or Two: If you really care for her. You will do anything and everything to try and get her back, no matter what happens what the consequences are for you. (Remember to never harm her). If you truly have feelings for this girl you will do this. If not. You are worrying for someone that does not have your heart enough.

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