My boyfriends first breakup!

This afternoon was really hard. Today I broke up with my boyfriend it was tough, because I was his first relationship he's ever had! I mean EVER. So anyway. We were in honeymoon phase so things got a little boring. The sex wasn't enjoyable because it was the same thing. He never had sex before I was his first. We dated for a year and a half. He's more into movie's and everything so it is always hard to get a conversation other than that out of him. Well one reason is he is studding film. It was also hard since it was a long distance relationship and I only saw him when he came home from break. I reliseed that during the time when we were together I had mixed feelings for this guy I was friends with in high school. I talked to him this afternoon I told him what happened. So we disscused about our feelings and I told him I am not ready for a relationship yet because I just broke up with my boyfriend. He want's to hang out and meet up with me since I gave him a lot of space. What I like about this other guy is that we don't just have one thing in common like my ex. I did lose my V to this guy yeah it was great. So I want to hang out with him and see were this takes us. Any ideas what I should do like waiting wise. He's not the rebound type trust me!
Updates:
Is it OK to like delet old pics of my ex.bf I did that is that to over the top?
Idk how I came across this website but this site helped a lot
Earlier I remembered he and I were doing the Oscar pool my mom told me about I only messaged him on Facebook if he's still up for that. It's OK If I asked him I wanted to tell him before I forgot!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • A famous motto of mine in life has always been: "When one door opens, another one opens," and this especially holds true in relationships. But what if one of the doors is still--swinging? I'll explain what I mean.

    You are being mature about your ex, whom you just broke up with. It makes good sense, being you don't seem to be "going anywhere"with him for a lot of different reasons, long distance being one of them. This in itself can be very difficult. Speaking from personal experience, for I married a man out in Egypt, although time consuming to try and keep the "fires with your flame" hot, and the communication open, the relationship requires nurturing on both ends and---from both parts of "THE other end." So along with this break-up, being it is "still smouldering", to sort of speak, you may only be "taking a break" at the same time. It can happen.

    So now I am seeing that "in one afternoon," you broke it off with him, and in the same instance and-----afternoon----you started to talk to this guy, whom you were friends with in high school. So, being you had "mixed feelings" for him, and from what I am understanding here, you lost the "Big V" to as well, are talking about "hanging" and probably "banging" again.xx

    Although you did tell him you are not ready for another relationship, and were very honest with him "at the same time" about breaking off with your other half, in essence, he IS a rebound and---reincarnation, only "better". You just wanted to hurry up and "leave the past behind," move on, and are even talking NOW of "deleting even more of the past", by getting rid of even "more of your ex," whom you just had split up with---"that same afternoon." Yes, it is not only "over the top," it is "the icing at the TOP of the sweetheart cake," sweetie.

    Out of respect for someone whom you were with for way over a year, don't just jump from the "fat to the fire". Not "tomorrow," anyway. Give yourself time to adjust again to being single, get yourself and---your head----together, so that you can begin again with a "fresh future." And if it is something you do find you want to pursue, then you then "can see where this takes you." Just a mature decision. "Waiting wise" I would give this a couple of weeks at the least, before starting up your engine again. I'll tell you why. From my experience with breakups, there is also always a chance for a "break through", being this is just "new off the show room floor." Things could suddenly start to "heat up again", and on top of "deleting his pix in a pucker," you would have---at the same time---started "revving up" with THIS guy. It has happened to me, where I had been in a "big pucker," and surprisingly, it "came back to bite me." It turns into a "troubled triangle," believe me.

    Yes, I would suggest holding off for just a bit. Your wounds are still fresh, and you have plenty of time, while "licking" and perhaps still "picking"----to find out if "the other door is still closed."

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    • lol...'When one door closes..."

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    • yeah one thing I changed my relationship status to single. Is it mature if I asked him to switch his status or wait until he does?

    • If you are talking about your ex, believe me, he WILL do the "single stats" now that you are both broke-up.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Another dumping at the end of the honeymoon phase. And another person chasing this high to feel temporarily happy.

    So because you had mixed feelings for another guy, you broke up with your boyfriend. That is always going to happen at some point in a RS. So your just going to bail out on any RS you get when that happens?

    Then again you were with your boyfriend when you had mixed feelings for another, which means your -then- boyfriend must have been 'better'. See what I mean? You can't know who's "better" by saying something like that.

    And that's why I also disagree with Johnny Depps saying "if your in love with two people, choose the last". First of all they will be different kinds of love. The latter more being lust. It's up to the person to decide what type he/she is looking for.

    You only had one thing in common with your ex, ut stayed with him for 1,5 years. That either means you had super chemistry and you WERE a good fit.

    Or those 1,5 years were entirely boring.

    "He' s not he rebound type trust me". He's asking to hang out with you, even though you said it was too soon. And you want to do it even though you know it's too soon.

    Just do it already, see what happens.

    And by the way you are nowhere near holding a committed relationship imo. But that's no big deal, most people aren't.

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    • I'm 24 I don't want to be like "He's the one who I want to spend with the rest of my life." That is for when I'm with someone who really is the one! It wasn't that boring it was good some ways. I always wanted him to try new things like meet my friends. He was always nervous a lot just drifted. I'll ask my friend to hang out maybe after my mom is out of town!

  • So you dumped one guy for the other , waiting a week or month is a waist of time . You know what you are doing , so continue with what you have planned to do. But I think you are living in the past and beware that what goes around comes around and it could be you getting dumped next time . ;)

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  • You just weren't compatible with your ex. It happens and often times no one is to blame. Deleting his pics? I really don't know if that's over the top. I probably would have kept one. I'm a fan of severing contact with ex's, particularly if someone is still attached to the other. Believe it or not, severing ties is often the compassionate thing to do as prolonged contact just prolongs the recovery, even though your ex might not see it that way (pain makes us wise in the long run, but stupid in the short run).

    As to how long to wait to hang out with this other guy, the one you lost your virginity to, I have no idea. If, as you say, it was great, it sounds like you are sexually compatible. Some might be inclined to think that's shallow, but not me. I recall listening to a divorce lawyer on a radio talk show once. He was very interesting. The one thing he said that really struck me was, "No couple has ever come to my office and said, 'The sex is FANTASTIC but I want a divorce!'" Listen, don't underestimate the power of sexual compatibility. How long should you wait? As long as it takes for you to feel right about seeing him. I suspect it won't be very long at all.

    If your ex finds out you made a beeline right to this other guy, be prepared for some anger and bitterness thrown your way. Cherry lust is something not to underestimate, either. However, keep in mind that it might just be the pain talking. Try and understand that and hope for the best for your ex (yet another reason to limit contact with him...for his sake as well as yours). Take care now, and good luck.

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  • This is the reason why I prefer to date or be in a relationship with a woman who is 25 and older. I noticed with ladies under 25 that a lot (NOT all) just want to date and not be fully committed to who they're dating, and they don't seem to know what they want. They thirst for attention from other "guy" friends. Smh

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  • It is not over the top to delete pics of your ex.

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  • If you were in the honeymoon phase, how were things also boring? You do realize that the "honeymoon phase" refers to a relationship where everything is just peachy because everything is new and fresh, right? I think you might have the phrase mixed up with something else

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  • Part of what's so screwed up about girls today...

    They literally expect that all dating/relationships are the "omg you're awesome let's bangbangbang all night" phase. Can't be bothered with the fact that with how we humans are made, that's a *phase* and it will always pass.

    You're so never going to be married or have a family, lmao.

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  • Too much dishes in the sea to be depress. Yolo

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