Most Helpful Guy
I don't think this is "TMI," especially if you look around at what other people ask about. It sounds like you are deeply in love and it's nice to read that someone has that kind of feeling, but it also sounds like you aren't allowing yourself any sexual release. I got the impression from the very conservative way you phrased the subject matter that maybe you are ashamed of masturbation. I could be completely off the mark, but if it's something you are opposed to for personal reasons you may want to reconsider it, it will really relieve the stress from being away from your exes.
Either way, you aren't alone by a long shot in feeling like that and things will get better. Take that strong of a feeling as a good thing, that you are capable of feeling something so powerful even if it is stressful.0